rElAx LaH

2005-09-15T23:54:00.000-05:00

the weather was very cold this morning and it rained heavily in the afternn, so i guess this is the sign that fall is coming. so sad... no more morning jog for me soon... I just came back from a almost two-hour SSA meeting. n now i'm simply not in the study mood, cuz today is my super siong day. but felt abit sinful abt not doing work cuz all the apartment-mates are studying now. stress sia

okok... i shall continue to update you guys abt my life

1) first driving lesson
for those who are concern, yes... I've finally taken my theory test and is now officially holding an instructional permit to learn driving. n of course, Helmi is my driving instructor. my first driving lesson, though it was short, was a super stressful hour for me. I was only driving ard in the carpark, trying to learn how to make a proper right turn. but it was so difficult for me to gauge when to turn the steering wheel, when to straighten the car etc... and now i'm only learning right turn, haven learn left turn yet... haha... and i almost bang into those cars in the carparks. i really cant imagine myself driving on the road, it's too scary for me. i was so stressed up for the whole hour... really admire those ppl that can drive sia, it's not easy. but then i tell myself... die die i'll learn and pass the driving test. *cross fingers*

2)mini golf
well.. initially i was thinking of rushing for an engineering sorority. so i went for the rush events and mini golf is one of it. I got to meet some ppl there, played mini golf for the first time. haha...i realised that i'm really not gd with ball games. guess i'll stick to running for the time being. haha... however this period of time, i was facing this dilemma of whether i should continue rushing. it's like i went to rush for sorority so that i can meet more ppl, get out of my comfort zone. there're times tt i don;t really want to go cuz i'm too tired and it's really not easy trying to socialize with these ppl. helmi always tell me to do things that i like and enjoy. so i'm torn between doing things that i'll enjoy now or things that i wont regret giving up in the future. yest was supposedly the day to formally declare whether you still want to rush or not. so after much thinking, i decided to just do things that i like. so i missed the session and i tell myself that from now on, i'll just go for activities that i like. i guess sometimes nua-ing is also a bliss.

3) paintball
i went for paintball two weeks ago with bunch of singaporeans at this place called "norman's paintball". well.. i've been wanting to go paintballing ever since last semester. so one of my seniors orgainzed and apparently the response was v gd. the drive was forty min long and the battlefield was set inside a 10 acres forest. (we din really go that deep in). we played elimination game which we are supposed to "kill" the other team and the last surviving team wins. we also played "protect the president" in which we are supposed to lead the president from one station to another and there'll be snipers hidden among the trees. that was a super exciting game cuz we cant really see where were all the 'assassins" and they could just attack us from the back and at any positions. haha... but we succeed in our mission and the last two surviving members were two females! yeah! i was shot in the both knees by Dquek and the bruises still haven recover. haha... and also kanna shot in the mask, back and arm. i din know paintball hurts so much. haha.. but it was fun! and Helmi said that i always know where were the best spot to hide and attack ppl that's why i can survive so long. helmi and bernard were all geared up for the game. they wore their army boots and number four. haha...

well... that's all for the time being. still haven finish my lab report and got lots of stuff to read up. Helmi and i were planning to organize a broomball game so need to settle that soon. erm.. take care ppl, I'll upload the photos and email you guys soon!

2005-09-14T23:05:00.000-05:00

I've been so lazy to update my blog that's why there seems to be no news from me for the past one month. i know i should reply some emails too but then i think i played too much so now rushing to finish hw. haha... stress sia...

erm... these are a list of stuff i've done for the past few weeks

1) pot-b-q
this is actually an SSA event held to introduce the seniors to the incoming batch of students and vice versa. it's like a potluck session held at crystal lake park. (but there's no lake at all!!!) of course my apartment must contribute to the 1st event of the year. so under ting's guidance, we made dumplings(shui jiao) from her family recipe. it's actually quite good and i sort of learnt the skill to wrap a proper dumplings. helmi cooked his ayam soup (which is supposed to be like kambing soup, but replaced with chicken). we also had lots of food like curry (courtesy by gracie's mum) and pineapple rice from janice and etc... overall it's quite a success as lots of ppl turned up and met seversl new students, including two exchange students from NTU accountacy. hee...

2) chicago trip
the main purpose of this trip is to orientate the freshmen to chicago and help them to get their winter clothing. we dro.ve down during the labor day weekend and stayed there for a night. for the first day, i din walk ard chicago much cuz was so shacked out from the housewarming yest night (see below) so i slept in the hotel for the whole afternn. then the next day we went to gurnee mills factory outlet for shopping. initially i told myself that i wont not spend at all but then once i saw the clothes, my determination waver. even Helmi who's supposed to control my spending is encouraging me to spend. haha... so in the end i bought a leather jacket and glove, one jeans and top from Guess and i also bought a leather jacket for helmi. then helmi bought me three tops altogether. so i was carrying lots of shopping bags home after tt. haha... must save for a while liao

3) housewarming party
me apartment and helmi's aparrtment held a combined housewarming party (as we stayed below them) on friday night. the guys called themselves the E4 and we are the charmed ones. haha... so on the day before, we were all busy cleaning up our house and preparing food. i was "in-charge" of dessert as i cant really cook well. so i made brownie and tau suan!!! luckily ppl said it's gd... hee... next time shld let you guys try it. i think there;s still room for improvement for the tau suan so will try again. then bernardo cooked his dad;s famous fried kway tiao and likyin contributed her home-made fried rice. and of course helmi made his fav roti prata (the instant type) and curry. we had so much food that i think it's scary... but then within an hour, everything was gone... cuz alot of them was having a meeting before the party and they havem had dinner yet... then in the end, some guests came late and they had no food, felt so bad sia... but nevertheless i think it's still fun cuz so many ppl came.... first housewarming of the year... of course must make it fun...

4)wisconsin trip
the past weekend, me n helmi went to wisconsin-madison for a short break. cuz we wanted to go before work load starts piling up. before the trip me n helmi were chionging the hw so hard tt i got so super stressed out. then on sat morning, we set off to our first road trip of the semester. helmi was so tired after the 4 and half hour ride... but then i guess it was worth it cuz madison has very beautiful natural scenery. they had two big lakes: lake mendota n lake monona. it's so cool to just sit by the lake, enjoying the sunset and breeze. well... not like my school where everything is flat and no water bodies ard at all. as madison is the capital of wisconsin, the whole place is more happening then U of I, they have more shops, restuarants and facilities. but then i still like my school cuz i feel that there seems to be stronger heritage here, maybe bcuz of the architecture. and of course must try madsion home-made ice cream (wisconsin is america's dairyland). the icecream serving is so huge that it can cover a small girl's face. imagine the size... but it's gd!!! well.. i'm a ice cream lover...

well... gtg now.. still got lab report.
watch out for the next entry which will include my first driving lesson, my first mini golf etc...

2005-08-27T09:25:00.000-05:00

it's been one week since i left singapore and luckily i'm finally settled into my new apartment. the past one week have been super hectic with all the moving-in, cleaning up and buying of household items. furthermore, i did a revamp on my class schedule and classes so i was having quite a big headache over it as well. but luckily i have finally "sort of" settled everything and living comfortably in my apartment and sometimes helmi's apartment as well. haha...

Well I'll upload my new apartment's and my room's photos asap. so please wait patiently and check it out. hee...

I guess i haven been studying for quite some time so i lost the momentum liao. i told myself that i want to enjoy myself and join in more activities this semester. but "the mugger's blood is in me". no choice, the classes all v siong this semester. and i'm abit stress over it. sigh... okok... i'll try to play, try to... at least once a week. one consolation is that at least to run thrice a week. so not too bad bah. (zi wo an wei)

the weather has been very good the past week. surprisingly! haha!!! because of the rare opportunity, i refused to wear jeans to school. so i have been wearing shorts, 3/4s or bermudas. haha... today is out pot-b-q. now the weather looks gd outside (though the weather forecast says it'll rain later) hopefully can get a gd tan as well...

erm.. this entry is abit more on the crappy side cuz i'm actually supposed to study now but v sian so side-track abit. haha... take care ppl

2005-06-06T04:42:00.000-05:00

on a bright and sunny sunday afternn, me n yili set off from the chinatown mrt station for out food quest at chinatown. haha... even though there's only two of us, i'm sure we can conquer the chinatown area!!! haha... toking crap. well... i miss chinatown alot, n this is the first time i came here since i came back home. well, the main reason of gg chinatown is of course... to eat!!! so the first stop is the food market. i dun know the name but this market is on the second level n near the food street. i started looking for my "er gu tang shui". cuz there not alot of stalls left in singapore tt sells gd sesame paste n peanut paste. we also had char siew chee cheong fun though i think i bought from the wrong stall. but nvm, its still yummy. n the "die die must go place " is of course "liang chen mei dian". it sells my fav egg tarts, polo buns n all the delicious pastry. haha... its still as gd... so xinfu!!! we also hopped over to maxwell market, then went back to ppl's park center. the food market there is under renovation, sigh.. so sad... cuz there has v nice guo tie. but we came across this road side stall tt sells walnut paste!!! haha... actually walnut paste is my fav, esp after my hongkong trip last yr. n i realised the jap confectionery shop is gone. sigh... tt area has changed quite abit.

we continued our journey n i suggested tt we walk down to clarke quay. though i dun really know the way.. but come on... cant get lost in singapore rite? so we juz walk n walk... n surprise!!! we walked past apollo center n realised tt there's "lao di fang" inside. haha... its a v nice vegetarian restaurant. the ambience is gd, but abit ex. n beside it, is the "mu chuan" where u can enjoy ur food n the singers' singing at the same time.

this is not the end of our "mini expedition". from clarke quay... we took the train to little india. (my stupid idea again) this is my first time in little india. quite interesting to hear the bollywood music playing aloud along the streets, saw v v nice sari in the shops (v tempted to buy), went to tekka food center (i finally know where is it!!!). its a new experience, didn't know singapore can be so full of cultural activities. haha...

from little india, we explored all the way back to bugis junction. yup... n by then it was already almost 6pm. super exhausted, n yili even commented tt my physical level has dropped. sigh... must train from now on.

but it was much better than just shopping or just go on a makan sutra. at least tt's what i think...
erm.. dun know how to end... take care!!!

2005-05-29T23:02:00.000-05:00

Hihi ppl... yup.. for those who still don't know, i'm back!!! back to the super hot singapore. haha... so when u guys are free, pls drop me an email or give me a call, so we can meet up k? my hp no is still the same. i'll be staying here for three mths so there will planty of time tt we can meet up. hee... so happy.

now i'm sitting inside the project management office of my company. i'll be spending two months of my hols doing attachment. haha... now is lunchbreak n my supervisor has kindly allow me to use his internet. now i'm sort of isolated from the rest of the world cuz no internet at home. cant sign online... sigh...

ever since i've been back, my friends has updated me quite abit on what has happened in singapore lately. abt how ppl's blog has gotten them into trouble etc... stress...

though it's only been one week plus, i think i have done quite a fair bit of eating n playing. haha... ate so much until i'm so shock. even helmi is surprised. yest both of us went to this indian coffee shop. n both of us ordered two plates of briyani (it's a BIG BIG plate), one prata, indian rojak n three cups of teh tarik. haha... cant believe tt we can eat so much. haha... n till now, i have eaten:
hokkien mee, chicken rice, tou sau pian, duck rice, yong tau foo, tausuan, ice kachang, chendol, mee goreng, fried kway tiao, dim sum, satay, egg porridge etc... lost count liao... haha... quite xinfu... but also v sinful. dun have time to go n run cuz i have to work. n by the time i end work.. super tired. sigh... so now i can only go n work out on sunday morning. n yar... yest, me, lihui n taurus went to mac ritchie to walk up to the tree top view. took us three hours.

2005-05-13T20:59:00.000-05:00

haha... from the title, can tell that i'm pretty excited abt gg home. yes yes...i'm gg home soon, in juz a few days time. haven been updating my blog for so long tt ppl think tt i disappear in US liao.. paiseh.. cuz this past semester has been a super crazy semester for me. i was taking twenty credit hours which included a super crazy organic chem n a super confusing chem engin thermodynamics. still remember tt at the start of this semester, i was so screwed up by this two classes n so stressed over so many things. at tt time i was really v depressed la. well... after lots of thinking n i really put in all my effort to study, like a super mugger. so i'm quite happy that my finals turned out well. thank alot of all the ppl that have given me support n advice during my period of depression.

there are so much stuff tt i wanna share with everyone!!! now i'm juz v busy with all the packing. i remember i came with two luggage, one big one small. then how come now i have 4 boxes, 3 bags n 1 full basket of stuff!!!! n still got my same luggages filled to the max??? bao ah bao... what did u buy for this past year? haha... i took more than 8 hours to pack n everything oso seem like a big big mess. sigh... can imagine how it'll be like when we move into our apartment when we come back.

for the past 3 mths that i'm "mia"... some of the stuff/ events:

-midwestern games
it's an intercollege sports event for all the singaporeans that are studying in different university in the region. this year UIUC SSA was in-charge of organising. so i helped abit in the pregame n social part, n i played capt ball as well... missed playing capt ball.. though i think i'm quite lousy. haha
-chicago getaway
me n helmi decided to take a break from all the work n activites. so we went down to chicago on a fri afternn. it was planned to be a relaxing trip. but bcuz of lousy me, we lost our way.,. n took longer to get there. plus the traffic was very heavyn the wind was very strong... so we din manage to go to michigan lake, din go to navy pier. well.. at least the gd part was tt we ate at this restaurant called "penang" in chinatown. they sell really v nice singaporean n malaysian food. we ordered half a hainanese chicken n a plate of mee goreng. we were so full!!! but also v xinfu!!! n we went to cold stone creamery ( www.coldstonecreamery.com) this is an icecream place that mixes all the differnt ingredient together into a icecream on a cold stone top. wa... damn zai sia. n the icecream is fantastic. better than any one in singapore.
-xiuli's farewell
this friend of mine, who's an exchange student, was gg to leave soon. so we planned a farewell party for her. n me n gracie decided to do a mini video for her. so we looked for all her friends n asked them to say a few words. actually i found it so touching la... cuz i think all these ppl will really miss her cuz she's been such a nice person to everyone. then n on the day b4 the farewell, me n gracie was supposed to collate all the clips toget. her younger brother andrew, came up with idea of doing a "mtv" along with the song, "hey mickey". in the end, all four of us,( me, gracie, andrew n helmi) we went down to green street n dance in the public. it was embarrassing, n ppl thought we were drunk. haha!!!

times really flies n its been 8 mths since i left singapore. at the start of my college life, i was so miserable cuz i miss home so much, din know many friends, nth much to do, cant blend into the american culture. everything juz seemed so bad. but now... i guess i have learnt to be more flexible, open-minded n maybe slightly more mature? hee... dun know... but i really felt like i have learnt alot over this past yr. no matter it's in terms of character development, academic study or lifeskills such as planning of trips, navigation skills etc(though i din really improve much) haha... n i start to know ppl liao, such as ppl from my chem engin class, friends of helmi that lives on his floor, all the seniors that i nv really get know. so overall it's really a fulfiling yr. i din regret coming here. haha...

actually i din really know what to expect when i go back to singapore. everything muz have changed so much. i'm quite afraid, worried that i'll have a big shock or cant get used to it. all my friends have their own separate lives, my parents have been leading a life without me, places changes till i cant even recognize. though i'm scared but i'm still looking forward to gg home. sigh... juz hope that my friends wont find me v different. hope that my house is still the same. well... we'll see. haha... hope to cya guys soon. miss ya alot!!!

2005-04-05T00:30:00.000-05:00

today was the NCAA basketball final between Illinois and North Carolina. in case you are wondering what is NCAA. it is actually "National Collegiate Athletic Association" basketball tournament. i am no big basketball fan (my knowlegde of basketball is only limited to "slamdunk" haha...) but this has become such a big big thing in U of I now. it's actually pretty amazing how an inter-college basketball match can become related to a state's pride. for U of I, this is the first time we manage to get into national final. for the whole of today, if you walked ard campus, it is basically flooded by lots n lots of orange color stuff. cuz my sch's color is orange!!! everyone is so ethusiastic about it. even our alma matar (the big big statue) was wearing a basketball shirt with a bball in his left hand. can you believe it? n my Chem engin professor turned up with a XXXL orange tee over his usual long sleeve shirt. the whole sch was very excited about today's match. large screening area was set up in the assembly hall, union, dorms etc... v v happening.

i went to one of my seniors's house to watch the match. initially i was very sleepy n tired. but then the match got me v excited cuz our school was losing quite badly, esp for the first half. then during the frist 5 min of seconf half, we were down by 15 points. at that mmt, everyone very stressed. then suddenly Illinois fought back and kept shooting 3-pointers. we finally managed to ctah up and tie with them at the last 5min of the game. now everyone is very nervous cuz left 5min only and the UNC has alot of very gd players. at the last min, Illinois got a foul thus UNC scored another 2points, making us lagging behind by 5points. so the game ended with 70-75. at that mmt, we were quite disappointed. but nevertheless, we all agreed that it was a gd fight. Illinois managed to push UNC (which is a very gd team) till the very last min. well done Illinois!!!

after the game, my seniors were saying better get back fast or else when ppl start getting drunk, it will be v mafan to go home. we walked along green street and the whole street was flooded by a sea of orange. the road was closed to cars and ppl were shouting "I-L-L-I-N-I", "f*** UNC" etc...but it was not the v violet pr angry type, quite peaceful n like a party instead. my frens walked back by the other way but bcuz i accompanied helmi to get sth from his car so we continued to walk down green street. well.. actually i'm glad i continued to walk down cuz it was really an eye-opener for me. firstly, it was probably the only time you can walk on the road of green street, plus surrounded by lots of ppl who were cheering n shouting. the police were standing on top of the shophouses with camera and they waved at the crowd that is marching past. at the alma matar, there was a huge crowd of ppl gathered there. juz like when it's countdown. and ppl all climbed up onto the alma matar, cheering. well.. u will nv get to see that any other time. v happening!!!

cuz juz came back from the event and feel like sharing it with everyone so i quickly type this blog. i still have so much to tell ya guys abt my spring break and the recent happenings. will try to update soon.
anyway ppl, i'm not staying for summer sch so i'll be back ard mid-may. hope to meet up with you guys!!! take care!!!

2005-02-25T21:45:00.000-06:00

initially i wanted to write sth v chim chim like wat my frens wrote in their blog, but then i'm not those literature type n i feel like dun malu myself so i decided to write in my usual crappy way... haha...

for the past few entries, it have always been v depressing or sad la... actually my life not tt bad. it's just tt i only have the mood n time to write blog when i'm unhappy or sth has affected me badly. well... now i'm in Espresso Royale Cafe (ERC) n chilling my friday nite away. i simply refused to do any work (though i know i'll regret later) n juz happily typing my blog n surfing net... haha... better uupdate u guys about what has happened for the past month in my life.

remember abt the akido class i told u guys abt? well.. v paiseh to say.. tt i had skipped at least two weeks of class liao. got exams for the past two weeks n then i was telling myself tt i'm gg to be a super unhealthy gal, better stopped gg to impe or excercising for the time being. study hard first. now i think i'm struggling with my work la, maybe taking 20 credit hours is ait too much for me. there are 2 social science classes that i'm currently taking n they all require alot of readings plus i'm more of the science n math type... so...though I'm a chem engin major... (which ppl think tt i shld be gd in chemistry) my most jialat class now is organic chemistry n its lab. really sux to the max. i juz cant get it la, since JC i have hated organic chem cuz i always cant remember the different reactions. now they have to add in all the stupid conformations as well. help!!! (well... if any of my previous students read this... so sorry tt i'm such a disappointment. haha...) then juz finished my chem engin exam... n its super jialat as well...haha....

erm.. gtg liao... got sth on. anyway i have uploaded some new photos so check it out.

(to be continued...)

2005-02-16T01:50:00.000-06:00

i don't know why but i juz seem to get things right. sigh...

when i wanted to keep the plastic tubings in the drawer, i broke my watch glass (an apparatus in lab)
when i wanted to keep my hw in the file, the whole stack of notes fell onto the floor
when i wanted to tidy up my desk, the books on the shelf all came tumbling down
when i wanted to take some paper from my desk, i overturn the tuberware and dirty my table
when i wanted to eat scrambled egg while studying, i dirtied my books
when i wanted to go for classes, i could not find my keys (even though i am holding it a min ago)
when i wanted to "rescue" my earring when i dropped into the sink, it fell through the pipe and bye bye...
when i wanted to do cross-stitch, the strings got tangled up.

to keep an account of the stuff i have lost:
my dorm key, my nalgene bottle (ok.. these were during last sem), more than 5 earrings... my hand carry bag, my stationery (ruler, eraser, pens), my chem engin lect notebk, my towel...
well.. there may be some more but i wont know until i remember...
n the most infuriating thing is that i'm always looking for things. for the past 2 days, i have searched for my lab notebook, my pouch, my keys etc...

sigh... really hate myself leh. become so clumsy n absent-minded. lousy bao... haha... well.. but then i think ppl muz haf thought tt i v funny/hilarious la... sigh....

2005-02-06T23:04:00.000-06:00

i'm the biggest idiot in this world!!!! arghh... really buay tahan myself. i dun understand why am i torturing myself this way? if other ppl cant be bothered then why should i bother? stupid me stupid me!!!

angry at myself to the max!!!!

2005-02-01T02:04:00.000-06:00

its been almost half a month since my last entry. well... school has started and i think my life has been pretty eventful plus busy even though it's been only 2 wks. this semester i'm taking 20 credit hours so i guess have to mug harder abit or else i'll be as jialat as last sem. initially there are 4 of us taking this history class, east asian civilisation. however hist class always req a lot more mugging plus its super hard to get A,n it really doesnt help tt the lecturer is super boring. so after 2 classes, 3 of us dropped tt class. 2 of us went to take stats, the other one took math. hee... my other fren who's still taking hist is abit stunned when he realised all of us went missing the next lesson. erm.. paiseh paiseh

last weekend we went down to uni of chicago for city of lights. it's an event organised by the singaporean student at uni of chicago n the main purpose is for the singaporean students in the midwest area to meet up n interact. this yr's theme is singapore films thus we got to watch quite a number of singapore movies plus short films. the main highlight was the movie "15" by royston tan. for those who haven heard of it, this movie is about the secret societies, delinquents, in singapore society. this movie has been banned in singapore due to its explicit contents and certain "scenes". while i was watching, i was pretty grossed out at certain parts, for eg. the piercing of the face for a ring, the slashing of arm using a pen-knife, the swallowing of drugs tt are contained in condoms etc. it's certainly a rare opportunity tt we can watch it. the director even came down to the event. i cant say i like the movie but overall i think its an eye-opener for me.

i have told myself that i'll try to be v enthu this semester. so i have joined akido (reccommended by wuisiew). there're so many rukes that you haf to abide by. such as muz bow b4 entering the bathrm, muz bow after steeping onto the mat, muz bow to master, opponents etc. its juz alot of bowing. but it's also a chance for me to learn more about japanese culture. akido is a relatively low impact martial arts as it is based on using the opponent's strength to reliate back. at certain pts, i was actually pretty sian. cuz i tink i'm more suitable for sports tt require alot of movements. but i guess it's a chance for me to learn new things, be more patient. actuaaly the movements and "stunts" tt the master taught us were pretty interesting. i still haf a long way to go... muz practise more. now i've been trying to go akido n impe on alternate days. then sunday i have asb meeting. though the schedule seemed pretty packed, i think it's not really abt whether there's enough time or not. but more of whether i still have enough energy to do it or not. cuz sometimes after lessons, will feel so tired tt juz wan go home n sleep. but i'll jiayou jiayou. cannot be so lazy!!!

well... tt's pretty much abt it. new yr coming soon. so excited la... haha...

2005-01-16T20:20:00.000-06:00

finally back in dorm. supposed to be feeling gd. had a gd shower, finally packed all my stuff n listened to the utada hikaru's album "exodus". so now in comp lab typing my blog.

sigh... juz checked my results... i din do well for my lab so my final grade not v gd. maybe i had too high an expectation but i was expecting sth better bah. *scratch head*

erm... got so much stuff to tell ya guys. well, to continue from where i've stopped the last time, we were supposed to head up to yosemite the next day. yosemite is a national park which is v high up. we had to drive up high elevation n u can feel pressure in ur ears while u were driving up. cuz of the high altitude, the temp was oso v low. everywhere was cover with snow, juz like my fav korean drama : dong ji liao ge. it was v beautiful. the view while driving up there was oso v nice. we stopped by a lake to take photos n u can see the reflection of the sky in the water. we oso had a mini snow fight along the road cuz we simply couldn't resist the beautiful scenery n we decided to stop along the road n haf fun!!! haha...

tt's the fun part. however i guess some stuff was juz unexpected. after 15 min of snow fight, we continued on our journey. then as we were turning round a corner, we collided with a truck. i guess it was because the road was too slippery so the car can't swerve in time to avoid the truck. sigh... i was v shocked after the accident. cuz after i saw the truck coming, the next time i know was "bang" n our car was crashed. at tt time, there were 4 of us in the car n one of my frens got injured. she hit her head n the cut was v deep. her whole coat was covered with blood. the scene was quite scary. paramedics n ambulance arrived shortly n because we were in the middle of some ulu mountains, they had to use helicopter to send her to the hospital. the park rangers n officials were v nice to us. they drove the rest of us to the hospital (which is 1 1/2 hours drive away) n he helped us to look for a motel to stay. if not for them, we'll be stuck in yosemite. luckily my fren is ok now n her wounds are recovering. all of us are safely back in UIUC so we can consider ourselves lucky to be still alive bah. anyway, we cancelled all our plans for the rest of the month, called up the hotels, airlines to cancel n to buy new tix. after 5 days in modesto (which is where the hospital is located) we head back to san francisco to catch a flight back here.

after this accident, i guess i really learnt how to appreciate things ard me better bah. life is so vulnerable, n things are always so unpredictable. so count our blessings everyday n maybe we shouldn't get too upset over small little things. ppl shouldn't always be so self-centered, we should learn to treasure the pppl ard us as well. this accident was oso a test of my patience n endurance bah.

anyway, juz glad tt all of us are safely back here. UIUC is v v cold n everywhere is already covered with snow. it's v beautiful but only when u see it when u're indoor. outside is freezing cold!!! it's already minus degrees celsius here liso. dun know how am i gg to survive this sch term. haha... maybe wear more layers n become super puffed up bao!

take care ppl n keep in touch!

2005-01-05T14:17:00.000-06:00

well... yest was a super stressed day for me. we are supposed to travel from san diego to sacramento. it was supposed to be a 8 h drive. we deicided to drive there cuz the seniors said that the coastal view is fantastic. but the prob is that we only have one driver or my poor fren has to endure the whole day. initially the drive from San diego to LA was still pretty smooth. then i took ever as navigator n we drove along the coast la. however dun know wat happen, we juz deviate from the highway n drove further away from the beaches. we wanted to see the sunset so we tried to turn into another highway. in the end we still din manage to see the sunset in time. well... guess i'm a lousy navigator cuz in the end, i lead the driver into a really lousy route. the road was v windy n dark. in the middle of all the mountains. then after some "holland" were finally get back onto the main highway. sigh... but it was after abt 1 h...

along the way, we ran out of fuel. cuz we found the price too ex n we wanted to look for a cheaper petrol kiosk. however we drove for like 70 miles n there is no kiosk along the way! the whole highway was like a dead city, not even an exit out onto the small town. so we kept praying that the car dun gif up on us la. i'm really super stressed at tt time, moreover i was the navigator. i tink i really quite suay. in the end we reached sacremento at ard midnight. by that time the driver was super tired liao... he almost dozed off along the road.

now is the super jialat thing: the reception desk at the homestead studio suite was closed! we kept calling but then dun know where the security guard went to. so we haf no choice but to sleep in the car. sigh... it was a long long nite... erm... i din really manage to sleep cuz too cold for me. i guess the others oso din haf a gd sleep bah...my frens came up wif a scheme: we'll kick a big fuss the next day n demand that they gave us one more nite free. haha... n we won. well... how my fren manage to do it, i'm not too sure. but thank to him la...

so now we finally manage to sleep in a proper room. now mentally n physically tired. but muz endure!!! we still haf yosemite national park. my only worry is that the weather will be v cold at nite. *cross fingers*

miss ya ppl n haf a great yr ahead!

2005-01-04T04:02:00.000-06:00

hihi... juz came back from my first camping trip in US. frankly speaking, it wasnt really a camp la, juz tt we stayed overnite at this national park(joshua tree) n went on a 4 hour hike. basically this national park is like a desert, the scenery everywhere is about the same la. joshua trees, cactus, sand, mountains then more joshua trees again. haha... we went up 2 hills n i came to this conclusion, "mountains are meant to see from afar". cuz when u see them up close, they are not really that nice, only when u see them from another peak, u'll be able to feel the magnificence of these mountains. juz me personal opinions. back to the "camping", when we first reached juz there, it was already dark. we had to set up our tent n cook our dinner in the dark la. moreover the weather is super cold, all our hands are frozen n numb. we could not feel anything. luckily our car is juz next to our campsite so we can run into our car n seek refuge. n the sky at nite is FLOODED with stars, u can see all the constellations v v clearly. it seems like we are being surrounded by the sky n stars only. juz too bad tt the weather is t so harsh n we can only admire the sky for awhile. at nite it was v cold n i felt like a super over-wrapped popiah. i had so many layers n it's v troublesome for me to squeeze into my double layer sleeping bag. haha... actually its v v tiring but then no choice la. i dun wan to freeze in the middle of the nite. overall i enjoyed this camping experience. its fun for me to cook in the open n everyone crowding ard to eat dinner. we even manage to watch van helsing in the tent. haha... next we are gg to yosemite national park. (in 2 days time) heard tt the view is much nicer though its oso much colder too. *cross fingers*

b4 this camp i was in los angeles. it was v fun n yet v tiring as well. we went to disneyland, knotts berry farm, the chinatown (which we couldnt really tell its chinatown). we spent 2 days in disney land alone. cuz there are actually 2 parks there: the california adventure park n the classical disneyland. the former is more of rides tt are suitable for adults n youths n are more exciting. the latter is more of disney cartoon characters, for kids basically. well.. in order to utilize my money to the max, (the entrance fee is v ex) i FORCED myself to sit the rides tt i'll nv take in singapore la. knotts berry farm is oso a theme park which has all the super scary rides. so imagine in all we spents 4 days in all these parks (plus universal studios) taking all the rides. we got quite sian for the last 2 days la. haha... however there are juz some rides tt i refused to take, eg those tt bring u up to the top n u'll plunge down *faint*, 2 super jialat roller coaster which has alot of plunging down the slope. the most embarrasing thing is tt the scariest ride for me is actually the ferry wheel tt's the only ride i cried. the worst thing is i sat for 2 times n i cried both times. sigh.. paiseh to the max... u all muz iunderstand tt the ferry wheel is no ordinary one. the cart can actually swing from one spot to another. then i super scared of the swing type one. so... hee....

ok, now i'm abt to set off to to san diego zoo then back to san francisco. cant write liao... take care n miss ya ppl!!

2004-12-27T11:36:00.000-06:00

now i'm finally in LA. have been disconnected from the outside world for the past 3 days. the past 3 days have been full of fun, food n walking. las vegas is like a virtual land. everything here seems so unreal, too pretty n glamorous to be true bah. looking at the grand hotels and casinos, u'll be overwhelmed by the amt of money that they put in to build all these. sigh.. but come to tink of it, where does all these money comes from?

the buffets here are v cheap n thus we decided to pamper ourselves after so many days of "indoor picnic". hee... moreover its christmas!!! we had a seafood buffet for the first night n a chinese one the next nite. eat until i suffer from indigestion. haha... plus he weather v cold so in the end i got v sick n kept vomiting in the past. so paiseh... then helmi said, "no more buffet for u." haha... anyway, i oso scared of buffet liao...

i tink u all can see the photos urself. i upload liao.

basically we took greyhound (a coach service) to travel btwn SFO, LA n Las Vegas. i muz say its a experience for me cuz u really meet all tyes of ppl at the coach stations, on the coach itself n the rest stops. we kanna disturbed by this black guy when we are waiting for the coach at Las Vegas. luckily helmi kept his cool, so worried that he'll fight back. then there's oso alot of homeless ppl ard, sleeping outside in the cold. guess tt we muz really count our blessings.

n these few days, we'll be asking the guys for some opinions regarding wat guys nomally tink.uz xl bought this bk "he's juz not tt into u". thus we'll ask the guys whether wat the bk written is true or not. anyway, i tink it's a way for us gals to console ourselves n remain happy on the shelves. like wat the bk says, we shld realise that the guy doesn't like us if he keeps us waiting by the phone, din take initiative to date us or tok to us bah... we cant always lie to ourselves, give us excuses... gtg liao...

2004-12-22T22:49:00.000-06:00

this morning we slept in real late... really shiok! then we set off to chinatown for brunch. along the way i'm v v tempted to buy food liao, such as you tiao, bao etc. but i resist the temptation! our final destination is dim sum! finally we stopped at this quite old and small shop which serves real cheap dim sum la. erm.. i muz say the quality isn't v gd but cant be too picky esp its so cheap. everything muz be low budget. haha... at least i like the siew mai.

after chinatown we went to the more busy area, union square. the whole area is sort of a shopping area bah. lots of high class brands n shops. i kept telling myself tt i muz control my wallet. cant spend anymore liao. already not enough $ to pay for next sem's dorm fee... jialat. bcuz of this deficeit, now i v stress. kept tinking how to settle the prob next yr. sigh...

we juz walked alot lo... nth much bah. the next stop is the twin peaks. twin peaks is like two hills where the v v rich ppl live. cuz we are not sure of how to get there so we went to the information centre to ask for directions. then we met the same uncle who helped us yest. haha... so paiseh. then the uncle v v nice la... even used different colored pens to draw out the train services. then he even said "the rides on me!" so we went into the station for free!!! haha... he's so nice la.

at the twin peaks, we walked a long long way up the hill. along the journey, u can oversee the whole city. we took abt one hour to reach the peak n it really worth the energy n effort. the view is spectacular! yest we are berkeley looking at SFO. today we are at SFO looking towards berkeley. well... life's amazing isnt it? i guess i'm really v fortunate that i get to travel ard when i'm only 19. muz treasure every mmt. we lost our way when we try to come back la... cuz its v dark n there's no buses at the top of the peak. well.. most ppl who went there drove la. we are the weird ones who walked up. haha... but its fun. i enjoyed the workout la. haha... long time nv excercise liao mah.

we tried to look for cheap food at this street called valencia. its supposed to be a street full of hispanic culture. but then to me its nth much la... n we cant find cheap food so in the end we went back to hotel n da bao along the way. we went walgreen to buy bread n kfc. haha.. so we had a "picnic" in our room. haha... well low budget is like tt one la.

throughout the trip, i guess its really a gd chance to observe new things n learn bah. i tink i'm more quiet but then i tink i dun wan to force myself into a conversation. sometimes i feel quite sad cuz whenever i'm toking halfway, i got "displaced" by some other ppl who juz chap in like tt. i know they dun mean it la n i oso dun blame them. maybe its my prob bah...anyway i tink its still a great trip. tml setting off for las vegas. yeah, will be spending christmas there. dun know got internet or not so may not be able to go online for a while bah...

*hungry liao* hee... take care n haf a fantastic christmas!!!

2004-12-22T08:37:00.000-06:00

yest was a very very eventful day at SFO. in the morning, we were supposed to reach the pier by 10am to catch the ferry to Alcatraz. we happily took bus service 30 and sat all the way from our hotel to chinatown n to the downtown without even realising that we had missed our stop. we even commented on the restaurants and shops that we saw on the bus. silly us... hee... then in the end we rushed off the bus and ran our way down the street to catch the bus to go back cuz we were v v late. wat a way to start of the day. hee...

luckily the ppl at the pier allowed us to catch the next ferry, so we wont waste our tix. Alcatraz is supposed to be an island that used to prison the most viscious criminals in the world. well... its one of the must-see attrations i guess. once i stepped on the island, i felt quite sad cuz this island gave ppl a v depressing feeling. then we slowly walked up the slope to go to the cellhouse for the audio tour. i heard abt the history of Alcatraz, how the convicts attempted to break out, n see the cells, the dining room etc. its juz v sad to know tt it was once a prison, n not a ordinary one somemore. ppl here had been full of hatred, anger, depression, misery etc. nevertheless the view from here is still gd. we get to see the city SFO and the golden gate bridge from there.

our next stop is UCBerkeley. well by the time we reached there was pretty late. we met up wif Helmi's fren who studied there. he's called Ronald, a sophomore this yr. he's v v nice n he brought us ard the sch, explaining the different buildings to us. he even drove us to the "rock" to see sunset. though i missed the sun seting down, the view was spectacular enough for me. it took my breath away. u can see the whole SFO from here n as the day got darker, the whole city slowly lit up. the different shades of color of the sky blends in so nicely. suddenly all my worries are gone la. whenever i see such view, esp those that overlooks the city, i'll tink tt the whole world is so big, n i'm only an insignificant part of the world. so wat's there to worry abt? hee...

at nite, ronald and his frens brought us to a thai restaurant to eat. the lady boss is super friendly la. kept smiling and helping us to refill water. wa... n the pad thai is great!!! haha... i had such a full meal! then after the dinner we saw this gelato shop la. as a piggybao, of course i cant resist the temptation, esp when there's more flavors than the one at sixth avenue. haha... i'm so xin fu la... almost wan cry when i ate it. yum yum...

well, that's about it, the stuff i did on the 2nd day. today i'm supposed to go chinatown for brunch (*dim sum???*) ppl take care.

2004-12-20T22:40:00.000-06:00

today is a pretty relaxed day for us. in the morning, we had a light breakfast in our hotel room. (low budget) n we set off for telegraph hill at 915 am. the thing tt's amazig abt SFO is it's landscape. it has alot of slopes here so all the buildings seems to be getting taller progressively. then when we walked up the telegraph hill, u can turn ard n see the whole city la... v unique view. cant really see it anywhere else, esp since i've been living in singapore n uiuc is in the midle of a cornfield...hee..

after telegraph hill, we went to chinatown!!! SFO has the world's 2nd largest chinatown n i tell u... it's really big la. we ate at this restuarant n we were stuff to the max yet it only cost us abt $23. super cheap la... n then we saw this super popular pastry shop which sells eggtarts. i'm so xin fu la... hee...

okok gtg liao.. watching incredibles

2004-12-20T02:46:00.000-06:00

CALIFORNIA!!! after a few weeks of struggling n mugging, i finally survived thru my finals! actually i tink i din do well but then i cant be bothered to check now. wait till next sem bah. hee... actually i tink my last 2 papers quite lousy cuz i wasnt concentrating. tt time i'm v bothered by sth la.. so v distracted. dun even haf the mood to eat... (unlike me rite?) anyway i kept telling myself there's nth gg on n i shld be having fun during my california trip. hee... muz enjoy myslef to the max!!!

today at 810am, we are supposed to board the coach to O'hare airport. we waited at ISR until 820 n there's still no sigh of our coach. then luckily likyin took out the tix n read the instructions. we are supposed to board TEN min b4 departure time n the coach is sururban express, not illini shuttle. wa lao... tt means we juz saw the coach driving away! fortunately one of our seniors sent us there. so he sped to Altgeld hall to catch up wif the coach... or else... i wont be here now. thank you thank you to the senior. wat a gd start to our trip.

then we waited at the O'hare airport for abt 1 plus hour to take a flight to Las Vegas n then transit to SFO. we took domestic airline n its the cheap one la... so cant expect much la. but i already v satisfied. basically i slept all the way on the coach n the plane cuz i din sleep the night b4. busy packing my stuff mah.. hee...

okok.. now quite late liao.. n helmi's waiting for the lappie. update next time

2004-11-30T01:33:00.000-06:00

no time to write a long blog so...

thoughts of the day:

* human politics is a very scary thing. 1st time i see so many sides of human nature
*i haf wasted one semester... next sem i'm gg to transform!!!
*be open-minded n not so judgmental...
*lastly n most imptly... my fav saying!! "when u lose sth, u'll gain sth; when u gain sth, u'll lose sth"

haha.. ppl, take care !!!

2004-11-29T02:17:00.000-06:00

yoz ppl!!! long time never blog le... actually i'm not supposed to blog now cuz haf a lot of work to do. but then decide to slack for a while.. haha... juz came back from my thanksgiving trip. wa... it's really quite shiok to go travelling la in a group. though there are only three gals, but the three of us got so much crap to gossip at nite tt dennis complain tt he cant sleep until 5 am. hee... (actually not our fault, juz tt the wall not sound-proof mah... hee..)

i got so much stuff wan share wif u guys but then got no time to write so juz haf to summarize. our first stop is Montreal. it took us abt 18 hours to drive there. basically it seems like a small n quite town to me. not v happening la, but i like the feeling tt it gaf me. v serene n a bit old countrylike style. esp at old montreal, where all the architecture seemed v european style and i'm v v happy to see all the small shops, cosy cafes etc... n then we oso "commit a crime". there's this movable ladder/ light of steps at one of the restaurants. then my fren tried to jump up n pull it down. in the end we set off the alarm n the ten of us immediately chiong out og the alley and run n run.. haha... i can stil remember how hilarious n comical we were. we oso went to olympic park(montreal hosted the olympic games in 1976) well... i wasnt v impressed by it la.. to me it's so so lo..

my fav place in montreal is the notre-dame. it is a considered one of the most beautiful church in the world. i'm really mesmerized by it when i stepped in. if u looked at my photos, its the place with the blue altar, brass altar, with the stained glass windows etc. zhen de hen mei!!! we spent ard an hour there, n though i wasnt a christian, i still appreciate the efforts n the thought that the ppl put in when building thic church. but i guess for the christians who understad more abt the history, i'm sure they'll like this place too...

well.. ppl.. i need to stop here. will write more abt toronto(tt place is wonderful!!!) n the magnificent niagara falls. btw i haf uploaded most of the photos liao (but without captions yet). u all can check it out. take care n jiayou!!!

2004-11-12T17:00:00.000-06:00

hey guys... time flies n today is fri agiin. heard tt in singapore this is a long wkend today.. with deppavali(is it how u spell?) n hari raya puasa. hee... so i guess the army guys muz be v happy la... those having exams muz jiayou... hols coming soon le. erm, this wk i din do much again. sigh... actually felt quite stress leh cuz i always procrastinate till the last min then will haf to stay up the nite b4 to chiong. unhealthy sia... erm... haven reach my mugger limit yet. maybe now i only put in 40% of my effort. (for rhet i put in 100% leh... but then still v jialat). haha... can imagine how mugger i am in the past. erm.. actually now some of my frens oso tink i v mug liao... but then i know myself best. yeelin haven been a very gd gal yet... haha...

erm... this wed is shenting's bdae. (she's the gal i met at the airport n flew here toget) she din even tell us it's her bdae n it's helmi who told us... aiyo.. felt a bit bad tt we din plan anything for her, considering tt we had held celebs for the others. bernard v sweet leh... he bake cookies n send it over to her place at midnight. forthermore he still has exam the next day... wa... no wonder shenting kept saying he admire her... (joking...) then we all sort of bluff shenting tt we cant haf dinner wif her so she ate alone with helmi. then we all *suprise!!* haha... we bought flowers n ballons la. hope she like it. n i oso bake my first muffin cake. erm... not a success but it's the thought tt counts rite? haha... next time it'll be better..(whose bdae next??? be my guinea pig)

orh... this wk i was quite sad la... cuz lappie crashed n i quarrle wif my fren again. sigh... quarrel until i very tired emotionally. i tink he oso v sick of quarreling. but the funny thing is tt we oso dun know y we quarrel sometimes. (juz to make clear tt we are still on gd terms, not tt type who are enemies...) this tue i was not in a gd mood la so i sounded abit harsh n i tink he oso bu shuang so he oso 'scold' me back la... wa lao.. i know its my fault la... but then... in the end i got so depressed tt i decided to self-proclaim a free day for myself. i skipped 3 classes on wed (1st time i pon my chen engin class) so i juz walk ard... laze ard, met shenting n jermyn for lunch, go buy presents. haha..... then i din inform my fren la... so sorry...

at nite i called py n chat to her for over an hour. super shiok. realised tt i really miss my frens alot n i feel much more relaxed toking to them... my frens oso v nice but i guess the feeling is still different. haha... n i tink tt actually calling overseas not v ex la.. so now i gg to fan my frens liao haha....

actually really nth much this wk... sigh... update everyone again...
p.s. the weather is super super cold now...*sobz* i dun want winter to come!!!

2004-11-07T10:46:00.000-06:00

haha... i tink this wkend muz be one of the slackiest i ever had. totally no work done at all... hee...
on fri nite, i went to play badminton with liuhao, mark n bertrand. i'm psychomotor so cant play really well but then luckily liuhao always teach me haha.. bertrand is sch team one so it's oso v fun to watch him play. then i remember tt we are playing double la... then mark suddenly shout "bertrand, smack!" then bertrannd smack the shutlecork so fast tt u cant even see the cork until it reached the floor. wa!!! i was so impressed la...haha... muz play more often le...

then sat i woke up super late like ard 1115... then went to meijers for grocery shopping. walking alone in the big big supermarket actually v v shiok la... u can slowly take ur time to look at things, kan xin qing yao bu yao mai... haha... helmi was v nice la, cuz i told him i wanted to walk ard somemore then he's worried tt i'll be lost, dun know how to go back. so he walked ard the mart looking for me to pass me his phone no... then i cant believe it tt i took 3 hours to finsh shopping.. n i spent 70 plus la... hee... so i tink i better save n scrimp now.

then yest nite, we went to a korean restaurant to eat n after tt i went to bertrand's place to watch anime... he's a super big anime fan n downloaded a lot la.. so i v hou lian pi to ask him whether i can go n watch or not... haha... i watched one episode of sumuria n 2 of sch rumble... sch rumble v funny la, i had a gd laugh while watching... hei jiu mei you zhe me kai xin. so i guess i better watch more comedies bah... there's this new movie by jude law. quite interested to watch la... maybe shld start asking ard le..haha...

then i sleepover at xl's place. i was watching some mtv n some short anime over there la... wa lao... we both cried la... then the funniest thing is bernard is oso there toking to his frens. n he seemed to be crying oso. so in the room all 3 of us were crying...then we ate popcorn, read cleo, tok cock...(wif likyin joining us)... then when bernard left, the 3 gals sleepover. the cleo mag was really gd la... we all found some of the articles so funny. basically we are laughing at women la... thank daddy for sending it over here!!! then in the middle of the nite, there's 2 drunk guys who were walking outside n they used masking tape to wrap up all the doorknobs. are they tryingto lock us up? but we still can open le. haha... then in the end, we dun even dare to go bath room... haha

anyway tat's my weekend. guess today better spend some time to catch up. n further more, gg to bake cookie today. so cant blog le... sayonara...

*hope tt my lappie can be ok soon*

2004-11-06T02:33:00.000-06:00

was reading thru friendster wheni come across this on one of my fren's messages. i tink it's pretty interesting so i decided to do a similar one...haha... copycat

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Yeelin
2. bao
3. ginjibao... etc

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. like to try new things
2. abit like ah lian + v tom-boyish
3. value frens alot
(p.s. this qn v hard for me to ans cuz i had a diff time trying to tink of wat i like abt myself)

HATE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. always tink too much
2. my weight
3. cant wake up even if there are 10 alarm clocks beside my bed

THREE THINGS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND:
1. relationship between frens
2. men
3. who i am

THREE THINGS THAT ANNOY YOU:
1. cruelty towards animals
2. guys who are v se...
3. hypocrites

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. when i made my frens angry
2. water!!!
3. no more food to eat!!!

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. sleep
2. eat
3. go on msn

THREE person/or set of PEOPLE YOU SPEND THE MOST TIME WITH:
1. 21st board of directors
2. ka-kees at UIUC
3. gd buddies from sec sch

THREE THINGS YOU CAN'T DO:
1. swimming
2. trying to get my directions correct
3. stop myself from eating

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. sports like joggiing, hiking
2. eating!!! n maybe cooking???
3. go online n chat, blog

THREE THINGS YOU WANT REALLY BAD RIGHT NOW:
1. happiness n peace of mind
2. the terrible weather here to stop
3. to be back in singapore

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. engineer (no choice, i'm bonded haha...)
2.open a dimsum restaurant
3. humanitarian worker

THREE PLACES YOU WOULD GO ON VACATION:
1. japan
2. south america
3. france

THREE THINGS/PEOPLE YOU WANT OUT OF YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW:
1. exams
2. worries n all the negative thoughts
3.the fats on my body.. haha...

THREE PEOPLE YOU WOULD WANT LEFT IN YOUR LIFE IF YOU WERE TO LOSE EVERYONE ELSE:
1. family
2. frens
3. ~ i tink the 1st 2 covers everything... haha...

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. have a hong hong lie lie de ai qing
2. have a meal with my family
3. to go on an expedition project

2004-11-06T01:55:00.000-06:00

sigh... now i'm a sad sad gal tt's isolated from the rest of the world, deprived of any entertainment, coneections cuz my lappie crashed!!! arghh!!! now cant even boot up the com. dun know whether reformatting will help or not, all i can do is pray hard n wait for the lab tech to come on mon (which means i haf to suffer for at least 2 more days!!) now i'm the computer lab cuz i tink i really cant survive without msn n comp. haha... so here i am writing my blog. fri nite is supposed to be relaxing for me. hee... so i have planned a series of activities to do n for the rest of the weekend.

these 2 wks had been super busy for me la. got exams, assigns due and the most jialat rhet paper. kk... i try to recall wat i haf done so far...(cant remember in sequence so anyhow write la...)

i went to an indian restaurant on last sat. it's the first time i went there la. when i saw the menu, felt v v xinfu... cuz got chicken curry, nasi briyani etc. we ordered four diff types of curries(at least i tink is curry la...) the weather nowadays are v terrible, so cold tt i tink we all feel like eating some spicy food to warm ourselves up. hee... i have been aiming the chicken briyani, next time i'll go there n eat tis dish. i promise! one more thing, though they dun haf roti prata, their naan is fantastic!!! i'm a bread/ carbo lover n by my "strict n high expectation", i have verified tt it's a 7.5 out of 10. haha... tt place is called bombay indian grill... n i tink its gg to be one of my frequent hangout place le...

oh... we went apartment viewings for the past 2 wks. u all muz be wondering why so early muz find apartments rite? actually i was quite surprised tt we haf to settle the lease now if we wan to move in next fall(which is next aug). maybe i too fussy bah... but the the apartments we view really not v gd. either the kitchen too small, bedroom too small, or living room too small... haha... so we were quite desperate n about to settle for a "expensive but seems to be better among the rest" apartment when we saw our saviour. haha.... actually it was an coincidence tt we met one of our seniors while we were gg for apartment viewing. she brought us to see her house la... n woa la... tt's it! we decided to get this apartment! she moving out next yr n there are 2 similar ones available so two groups of us can live near one another. haha... the living room n kitchen is so big la... n because its the top level so the ceiling is v high, making the whole place seems bright n big. i fall in love wif it immediately. haha... so now we are on the way to settle the lease. will try to show some photos after we moved in... haha...

basically these 2 wks v busy so din really do anything interesting. juz study n mug lo... then i met my advisor yest. i was trying to ask for permission to overload so he asked me whether i have perfect score. erm... as u all know, my gp sux la... so my rhet class still struggling. sigh... then my advisor wrote a note to help to get approval form LAS(College of liberal Arts and Sciences). he wrote "my experience wif singaporean students is that they can get perfect or nearly perfect scores even if they are doing 22 credit hours". *stunned* *stressed* sigh i tinking maybe dun overload so much le... in case really cant cope. but oso dun know wat to choose le... tinking doing an international minor but haven decide on which country to go. either japan or brazil... sigh.. a step at a time bah...

i tink i v muddlehead la... kept losing things. lost my keys, towel, earrings, bottle, stationery... etc... then i tink maybe i superstitious cuz really v suay nowadays la. everything cant seem to go right. lappie crashed, lost my stuff, then alot of stupid probs oso... so i guess i get a little bit depressed sometimes. actually i haf been wanting to find a time to do some thinking. n i guess this weekend i'm gg to haf some time for myself. trying to find a new balance point bah. is like i kept asking myself how i'm like, wat can i do to be a better person, how to get along wif frens, ways of treating certain issues. i'm actually quite confused. but 1 thing i'm confirmed is tt i tink i'm not a gd fren when in singapore, in fact quite jialat. sigh.... maybe i can see my own flaws in other ppl, tt's y i'm in a dilemma.

i'm writing this at nite so may sound a bit depressing bah.. paiseh ppl. anyway... jiayou for those who are having exams now... mug hard!! or those no exams, enjoy everyday of ur life n be happy!!!

"faith is the strength for me to carry on"

2004-10-23T03:32:00.000-05:00

today... we had a <<2046>> premiere over at our hall. well... actually it's only for the 4 of us la... haha!!! i was full of anticipation for the movie la, after so much publicity, took 4 yrs to complete n such a powerful cast. then the starting part throw me into confusion, it was already v abstract. trying super hard to fig out where they are only, wat's the setting... then as the show continues, i got even more blur.. from 2046, they appear in 1966!!! *scratch head** then i was v v disappointed when i saw tony leung. sad leh... he look like a pimp with his moustachen the way he smile. the way his character is like in the show, he's a super jerk la....sigh... at least it shows he's a gd actor, can make me dislike his role...

then as the time space in the movie keep changing, i was trying v hard to keep up with the director was trying to say. then this movie has some explicit sex scenes la.... n we are watching in the open lounge. thus the most emvarrassing thing happened. one of the RA(who is a guy) walked past n stopped by to tok to us. n at this point in time, the movie was showing a bed scene la!!! super paiseh leh.. four gals watching tt leh.. like pornography haha....

at the end of the whole show, i finally haf some clues (at least i tink so la...) abt wat's the theme la... here's some of my opinions:
1) it is abt ppl trying to find the true love in their life... n 2046 is juz an imagery of that ideal state where ppl go n look for their true love
2) 2046 is actually an virtual space tt tony leung came up wif... he puts himself in tt story n protray the women in his life in the story, except tt he gives it a futurelistics feeling.
3) he mentioned abt ppl always go to "2046" but no one knows whether the things at "2046" are true or not cuz no one came back.... n he's the 1st one to come back...
so i assume tt he's tired of the idea of looking for the one gal tt he really loves(which i guess is maggie cheung). instead he decided to immerse himself in the company of other women....(tt's y i say he's a jerk...)

sigh... i tink ppl haf diff ideas on wat this movie is trying to say... buut i guess the director was trying too hard to be too chim n abstract le, until the whole movie became v fragmented. erm... u all can try watching it when it's screened in singapore then gif me some opinion. haha....

dun be your own enemy...

2004-10-20T19:07:00.000-05:00

i haven written my blog for a long time le... haha... abt one wk? actually has always felt like writing blog but then no time la... muz set my proiority right first. or else will have to rush my assignment like yest nite. i did my rhet essay till 3 plus in the morning n i still haven finish. then i juz gave up n sleep la... haha... this morning skip class to do it. but then i tink my essay still sux la. u all shld know my eng standard... tat's it lo... juz pray hard tt i wont do too badly... sigh...

erm... suppose to recont wat i have done for the past wk. cant remember clearly so i juz anyhow write la... hope u all wont find it too confusing. yest(tue) is liu hao jie's bdae!!! so we had a celeb wif her. the 3 gals( me, liuhao n xl) went for lunch wif mark n bertrand at mandarin wok. wa... same thing lo... the five of us stuffed ourselves wif all nice nice chinese food. then for dinner we are supposed to meet up wif the rest to go n eat dinner. well.. cuz some of them have exams or sth on... so we decided to add a "late nite" session after the dinner. for dinner we went to a korean restaurant. for the past 2 mths, i haf been avoiding this restaurant cuz i still remember on the 2nd day i came here, i ate there. n i ordered bbq chicken n it tasted so horrible tt i tell myself not to come back. but then... on a cold, chilly, windy day(tt's last sat), me n xl wanted to haf sth hot n the most of the eateries here serve western food or bread etc... so bo bian i decided to gif the korean restaurant another chance. i ordered tofu spicy soup n yeah!!! it's gd... so shiok esp in this type of horrible weather... haha... n now i'm addicted to the soup le. haha... so yest i ordered the same thing again. the serving is really big la... n there's 5 side dishes!!!(the normal korean stuff) i took a picture of the full set meal n will upload it soon. u can check it out later haha...

so for the "late nite" session, it was meant to be surprise for liuhao. but as usual, our surprise failed. cuz liuhao mentioned b4 tt she wanted to eat glutinous rice dumpling(zong zi) so me n xl wen to far east to buy. we oso bought meat dumpling(jiao zi) to cook. n i muz mentioned tt xl is v sweet. she spent yest afternn to bake brownie for liuhao... cuz all of us gg out for dinner so we entrusted bernardo wif the job of preparing the food. we thought tt it was juz heating up the food so shld be pretty easy. in the end the dumpling soup became like zhunao soup cuz the dumpling skin came off... haha... but then it still taste gd la... it's considered not bad le as bernardo dun rerally haf any experience. n he oso helped in making the brownie *clap clap* the zongzi here is v diff from wat we usually eat leh...instead of the glutinous rice, it's like starch, transparent one. the taste is still ok.. q q de... but then i tink i still prefer the traditional one. fortunately i'll be able to spent duan wu jie in singapore nxt yr. haha... can eat the nonya dunpling!!! my fav!!!

wat else... let me see. i haf physics finals on last mon. then i did my studying last min so it was really jialat. esp i haf been sleeping thru lect, walking out of lect halfway, n i totally lost on wat the prof was talking... arghh!!! so when i tried to do the physics practice qns, my mind juz blank out. i was so stressed like siao.. luckily on sun, mark was over here at par... so i go n seek help. (his physics v zai...) n he's really patient in teaching me n he tried to make everything as simple as possible, easy for me to understand. even though he has 2 exams the next day, he din mind spending his time to teach me lo... n during the revision lecture, he kept pointing out the main points to me, wat i need to take note. the nicest thing abt him is that u wont feel pressurized when he talked to u, cuz when some ppl explained things to u, they either make u feel like u v stupid or they v bu nai fan. hee... thank mark!!! for this physics finals, i tink i din do well la...(i even fall asleep halfway!!!) but then i tink i'm too happy tat it's over le. hee... so from now on, i'll haf one less class...

(continued after 3h later....)
i juz came back from a salsa lesson. cant say tt i learnt anything new, cuz its basically the same steps as last wk. i was supposed to stay for another hour or so but then i met a senior there n w began to chit chat a bit so the next part of the class started le. then i quite sian so i decided to come back. n the senior was telling me abt the different dance workshops tt's available.... erm i wan learn swing leh... hee... maybe next sem take a dance class bah. i began to learnt tt sometimes its hard to really wait or find someone to do stuff toget. if i kept waiting for someone to join me to do these stuff, i guess i'll nv be able to learnt anythin g here. i'll juz procrastinate n i dun wan to waste my time here. yup yup... it's not tt i become ap or unsociable, i guess its ok sometimes to do some stuff alone bah... no choice la cuz everytime i ask them, they either not interested or want to study... sigh... miss lihui leh... we always do things toget, go n listen to the talks tt no one else will go... n we can oso mug toget... haha... well, tml there's "alternative spring break" talk, guess nobody's interested again... but nvm...ah bao is an independent gal... can go by myself...haha...

btw my room now smells of bbq chicken. guess tt my roomie n her bf ate bbq chicken pizza in here juz now... sigh... normally my rm will smell like tomato soup la, cuz my roomie likes to eat tomato flavour instant noodle. sigh... so even though it's freezing outside, i still haf to open the window to let the smell go out. luckily the heater is finally on!!! it's autumn here le, all the leaves turning oramge, brown and then fall off. the trees here get botak v fast, one or 2 days all the leaves will be gone. i haf taken some photo la but then i'm not v satisfied yet cuz i still haven went to the really nice nice places like the parks or the road where there are rows of trees lying by the side of the road. in the past when ppl ask me wat's my fav season, i'll always say autumn cuz i like the whole melancholy feeling tt autumn gaf ppl. now over here, i realised tt autumn is really v beautiful la. though its freezing here but then i still enjoy walking along the roads n enjoying the whole scenery. BUT BUT... i finally realised tt my fav season is actually SUMMER!!! i missed the sun, the heat where i can juz go out n play n tan. it makes ppl feel v energetic, optimistic. i guess i prefer tt bah cuz i'm really v v scared of cold n i always feel v miserable when the wind blows in ur face leh... sigh... i miss the sun!!!!

yar... on sat there's a meeting on the fall trip to canada at torance's house. for this thanksgiving break, a group of us will be gg to canada(montreal, toronto n niagara falls). it was actually organized by torance n we juz joined in... muz thank him la.. or else we will haf no place to go during the break le. then a group of us(the 3 saf scholars, xl n me) oso planned to go twest coast n hawaii during winter break la. haha... i'm quite excited la... but there's alot of prep work to be done n now everyone v busy oso v difficult. guess i better start saving up too or else i'll be super broke after tt le... now i'm already trying hard to shen qian, ke shi... sigh... i know i'm not gd at money matter... haha... anyway back to sat, at nite i went to urban-nite with helmi, shenting, likyin, janice, daniel, zhixiu, janice n a guy from uni of mich. he's a fellow saf scholar of helmi. urban-nite is a hiphop dance concert which showcases all the dance performances by the 2xs dnace clubs in different uni. first shock of the concert: it was held at a club. i haf expected it to be some theatre, audi... guess at a club maybe the atmosphere is better. 2nd shock of the day: the dancers are really scantily dressed and their costumes n make-up really wild leh...3rd shock of the day: they make use of sexual appeals to the guys. there's this team who wore bikini, another team even more kua zhang, they took off their bra!!! they din show "XXX" la, they used their hands to cover... but then, i wonder wat's the pt they trying to make leh...*scratch head*at least i can cfm tt i'm straight cuz i'm totally not turned on. infact a little bit disgusted... haha.. singapore's style of hiphop is really too mild le...

i guess tt i haf become a lazy pig over here.. my rm is a mess now n i haven clean up my rm in 2 mths... sigh... cuz none of us took the initiative to do "spring-cleaning". there seems tt there are too many other more impt stuff to do le.. hee...(i know it's an excuse) in singapore iwas too pampered le, my mum will clean up everything cuz she got jie pi... haha... so i nv haf to worry abt all these. now if my mum see how i leave my clothes and cups ard, the mess on my bed, i tink she'll faint on the spot.

over here, i guess the cycle of exams, assigns, tests, nv end. when u tink tt u can finally take a break, the next round of exams starts again. i realised tt continuing to mug non-stop isnt the way to lead my life here. in jc, we all oso v busy mah, but we all survive through. so i decided tt since no matter wat, still haf a lot of stuff to study. since it's like tt, i will go n do the stuff i like le... then piang at nite. sometimes under time constraint n pressure, maybe efficiency higher... haha... n i'll force myself to haf better time management. haha.. n i realised tt working at nite is better. no one disturb u.... hee... anyway the most impt thing is dun regret my decision n make the best out of everything

(continued an h later)
was juz chatting to jess, louisa n lihui. hee... long time nv mass chat le. hee, miss them lots. was confiding to louisa n jess abt my mini dilemma, n i realised louisa mature le. haha.. maybe its pang guan zhe qing. so i finally xiang tong le....yeah!!! now one thing off my mind

lastly, u all muz haf thought wat does the title "taiwanese drama" got to do wif my entry. it's bcuz my fren mentioned tt living here seems to be watching taiwan ou xiang ju, v dramatic n full of complicated realationships. but i learnt to detach myself le... not to be too troubled by the things i see. sometimes i think i juz tink too much. it may not be a prob to them... so why should i worry... so i guess it get another burden off my mind....

okok, this has been a super long entry... cheers for those who endure to the end... haha...take care n i'll upload my photo soon

"it's always easier for the one tt's leaving rather than the one who stays"

2004-10-13T01:10:00.000-05:00

b4 u all start reading this, better warn ya first tat it's gg to be pretty gloomy... cuz i quite sad now. i felt v lost in this world. recently alot of stuff happened, n wif all the work, actually quite stressed. then somebody come n make me even more fan... (sigh... juz go away or let me hide....). then one of my frens here suddenly seemed to be v indifferent to me. i din even know wat i haf done wrong. try to console myself tat he's stress tat's y. but then... it dun sound convincing.

then for another issue... i realise tat i said the wrong thing again...sigh..typical bao. i din expect guys to be v sensitive. well... its my mistake cuz i should haf been more careful.

then i really wish to find someone to tok to, or at least juz someone who can lend me a listening ear. but i dun know who to look for. they seemed busy n i cant seem to find a gd timing to tok. n i oso dun know whether i should tell them in the first place. it seems like there's no secret here. someone told me its better to keep your own opinions to urself. (tink tat apply to certain personal things too...) suddenly i felt v lost, seems like left alone in this world. my frens are so far away... so no choice but to keep telling myself to ren, be strong, force myself to believe everything will be fine in the end.

"love others as though u are loving urself." i hope i can do tat n i'm trying now. (paiseh to say... sometimes i'll still forget) guess human relationships are v complex... n i guess i haf v high standards for myself. (sigh... cuz i think i'm too lousy... so muz improve) sigh... sometimes i tink its better to keep my mouth shut from now... try to be diplomatic, dun show too much views...etc but then i tink i'll be v xinku. it's like putting on a show. y muz life be tat miserable??? a few weeks ago when i was v depressed, my frens all told me to jiayou, they said the bao they know is a strong gal... etc... but now i dun even know who i am.

my senior say i can tink abt the chim chim qns... regarding finding urself... life over here. but dun indulge in it. i know tat's true... but......

sigh... maybe its juz the "lowest" point of the month. so feel v lost... ok la... yi tian guo yi tian.

2004-10-10T03:44:00.000-05:00

i watched miss saigon!!! haha... my first musical in USA! actually this event started off with sth quite disappointing. cuz one of my fren cant make it then we were quite sad if we had to waste the ticket. (we bought the most ex one... *heart pain*) but the prob is even though we try to gif it out for free nobody wans to go. aiyo.. the guys all not interested. sad... so during dinner, xl n ly kept psycho-ing the guys, ruan ying jian shi... haha... in the end bernardo felt paiseh to abandon the 3 of us so he nice nice volunteer to go la... actually i felt quite bad cuz seems like ho oso not free.

all my troubles seemed to vanish once the show started. i was deeply mesmerized by the powerful voice of the cast. the female lead n "engineer" were really good. initialy i had some prob trying to understand wat they toking but once got into the momentum, everything juz falls in place nicely. act II was fantastic. they made use of v gd wu tai she ji to show the scenes infront n behind a gate. no wonder they are the professional. haha... i know tat's crap. act II was so touching tat i juz cried n cried. partly is oso bcuz the lady beside me started crying then i see her cry i accompanied her lo. then i even offer my tissue to her. so funny... xl was laughing at when she saw me giving her kleenex. at the end of the show, tat lady even gave me a hug. haha... not bad not bad... i tink it was quite gd la. but then the other 3 persons said they doze off a few times n were yawning(while i'm crying.... sigh...) dun understand. but they oso tink is gd la... me n ly sai nxt yr we'll come n watch les miserables toget. yeah!!!

this morning me n xl cooked tom yum dong fen. well... i expected at least 10 ppl but it turned out the rest slept late(n i forgot to call jerm.. paiseh...). so only 7 came. not bad liao. as we haf a lack of equipment, we used our toasters to cook lo... but then everything turns out well... yeah, at least no one need to go n buy lunch n they v supportive, finished everything!!! thank you... but then i not v satisfied, cuz i tink the soup not hot enuf. nvm... will improve next time!!! jiayou! nxt wk will be celeb liuhao's bdae so i guess we'll haf dumplings. hee...

today after i came back from the musical, i checked my email. kanna flood again... mostly by my chem TA. alot of emails abt the lab report. actually he v nice la, a responsible n dedicated TA, but he v fussy n demanding. every wk haf to do one n then my whole wkend juz gone like tat. sigh... tat's y i considered changing major cuz i dun know how i can tahan continuing doing the reports . but then i enjoy my chem engin classes(at least for now...) so i can hanging on. so now i felt v overwhelmed now... too much stuff to settle. n it seems nv ending. sigh... n then someone has to come into the pic n made me even more disturbed. i deicided not to tink of tat person le... i felt v worried+frustrated whenever i thought of wat to do wif tat person. sigh... tink i neng duo duo jiu, jiu duo lo...

2004-10-08T23:27:00.000-05:00

finally all the exams ended lo.... get to rest for i tink maybe 2 wks bah. the past week i was quite stressed out cuz of chem exams. it's not bcuz they are teaching some new concept, juz tat i've missed too many lects so felt v insecure. well... at least its over le... hee... guess next time i better work hard so wont gan jiong at the last min. i guess my biological clock had been reset. now i always work at nite(well... it's more of chatting) then the next day will be v v tired. i've walked out of 2 physics lect this wk. totally cant understand wat he toking abt... his voice v soothing, like lullaby, so cant blame me rite? haha... then i din do my chem engin assign(cuz of exams) so yest nite burn midnight oil lo... chiong all the way or else today i die die..

guess muz share sth tat happened here... erm... let me tink... one day, my roomie was climbing onto her bed(upper bunk) then sth dropped onto the floor. i was abt to help her pick it up when i realised... it's a condom!!! wa.... i was so paiseh then i dun know wat to do. then my roomie pick it up and STUFF it into the wastepaper basket. i juz pretend i see nth. then today as i was juz waking up... i found her bra on my bed. ARGHHH!!!! well... her bf was here yest n they were on the bed so.... sigh... (still remember i mentioned earlier tat i doing my assign yest nite?) cuz they both in the room so not v convenient for me to do work thus i went to the lounge lo. the lights were off la n then i juz opened the door. OPPS!!! i juz interrupted somebody doiing their stuff... dun worry... not sex yet. but then wrong timing la. in the end the pathetic gal (tat's me) went to the open lounge, suffering in the cold, n did the super sian hw... haha...

yest i finally went impe! initially it was supposed to be a LOTS activity, planned to go for the speed dating n salsa thingy. then in the end change our mind n decided to work out instead. haha... muz train n slim down so we can get off the dusty shelf. i played squash for the first time. my fren is a squash player so she had rackets. i guess i'm really untalented in sports or else psychomotor(is tat the correct spelling?) always miss the ball. then still haf to play with the guys... sigh... helmi purposely serve the ball so tat it's easy for me to hit back but then... i still disappoint him. i decided to train hard n let them gua mu xiang kan!!! but impe was really impressive, lots of different gyms. there a room juz full of weights, one full of treadmills etc... feel like hamsters in experimental boxes. well... now i'm suffering from muscleache but then we still gg impe later... play squash!!!

..... after 3hours....

hey.. i'm back from impe! actually i din really play squash, more of running on treadmill, cardio etc. but yest went impe le so my muscleache haven recover. so now cant do alot of exercise n now i'm suffering from pain. *ouch!* haha... but its a gd workout la... considering i haf been putting on weight exponentially... haha... stress... when i go back, i'll be a ming fu qi shi de bao!

these 2 days i actually oso quite happy la... cuz i received a parcel from home yest n today i received lihui's letter!!! finally the letter arrived. me n lihui were like tinking that the letter is lost in space cuz she wrote the add wrongly. haha... v v happy to receive frm home. hee... my dad sent me 4 singapore's mag la. wa!!! super excited leh. i'm v surprised tt my dad bought cleo for me leh. when i asked him, he said initially he wanted to buy jie mei (arghh!!! different generation leh...). luckily the cashier gaf my dad some advice... hee... heng ah...then i oso got my fav pencil le. cuz i lost my pencil here n i've been using the same type for a long time so i go n troubloe lihui to send it here. thank lihui!!!

last sunday was xtian's bdae so i called her... i was so surprised to know tat she was in a pub at tat time. n the more surpirising thing is hua jie was with her!!! (huajie, when did u start gg this type of places???) n they were wif 2 guys...erm...(scandalous affair... haha) then on thurs nite(singapore time) i oso called jaslyn cuz they were having bod outing to celeb jas's bdae. initially i thought whole bod gg to be there, who knows only 5 gals. but nvm, it's still v v fun to tok to them. haven heard their voice for a long time, miss them so much. i already planned to watch the vcd they gave me again. *sobz* it really feels v gd to juz tok to them cuz they know how i'm like so i can juz tok cock la... friendship is really v impt. ppl... take care!!!

erm... i'm supposed to update my frens in singapore wat i'm doing here. actually my life v boring here. tink tt ppl in singapore having much more fun leh. lihui n louisa gg yunnan next yr. i oso wan go. feel like doing overseas cip leh. over here, i haf planned to do alot of stuff. maybe i list them out then when i go back nxt yr, u ppl can qn me whether i did them. this way i'll motivate myself to do.
1)learn squash 2) learn dance 3) do some volunteer stuff 4) join a club or at least join some events regularly 5)explore the area out of campus even others not v enthu

today we went to this place "bo bo china", it's a chinese restaurant. liu hao said a lot of chinese students like to go there so we decided to gif it a try. realised tat there's buffet n its v cheap lo... US$6 plus... so we ordered tat. not tat the food is fantastic but we all v xin fu... cuz there's variety n much better than the v sian dorm food. haha...

then today we oso went to far east cuz i suddenly haf an urge to cook sth. erm... i know i cant really cook but then... mai hiam bui pai la... haha. after much exploration in the shop, we decided to cook tom yam dong fen!!! yeah so tat's lunch for everyone tml. (well... they haf to suffer lo...)
ok la... tat's abt it. bernardo's roomie not in today so we now gg his rm playing ddr. (i know u all muz haf think tat it's ridiculous. haha!!!) actually ddr quite liu xing here... dun know y? i tink some of the stuff v lagging. compared to asia la. for eg, handphones, new entertainment stuff like ddr. maybe it's bcuz these things started in asia so it took awhile b4 it'll be here. okok gtg le...

stay happy... stay happy... stay happy... haha... smile!

2004-10-03T01:43:00.000-05:00

juz came back from late night... before that was the SSA and HKFA(HKG Food appreciation)'s MAF celebration. i know MAF was four days ago... but doesnt matter la... as long as everyone can get toget n haf fun. hee... the freshmen are supposed to put up an item to perform. initially i thought it was gg to be a big flop cuz all of us v busy now n no one had time to plan. well... luckily we haf a v responsible class director...(someone tat's like our grp leader). he wrote the script n dedicated the jobs. the gals were asked to prep the costumes. when i first heard this, i was like.. shucks!!! where to get clothes for chang er. in the end we produced the comical version of <>, so the costumes oso gao xiao lo. we used bedsheets for houyi... my lab coat for the guy who brought the elixer, winter clothes for chang er, towel for villagers. haha!!! creative bah.... the props guys did a great job too... they v smart oso lo...clothes hanger as the bow, mosquitoes pai as the spade etc... the actors were v professional too... they really act until v kua chang. i was laughing like mad... hee... i was only the moon, so din contribute much. overall i guess the audience had a gd laugh... so in a way, it was a success!!!

today's weather(or shld i say yest ???) was v v jialat. it was v chilling in the morning... n this weather continued throughout the day. the temp even drop so low until 0 degrees celsius!!! heard they say there'll be frost tonight. arghh... juz now at the celeb. i was already wearing three layers n yet i still feel like dying. so i juz keep jumping ard or walk ard lo. initially it was supposed to be outdoor but i guess everyone oso cant tahan so it was changed indoor. well.... i was v happy tonite cuz finally get to eat the authentic mooncake... lian ron with single egg yolk. yum yum... bernardo doesnt like the yolk la... so i get to haf it. hee... (well... to make it sound better.. i share it wif xiuli la). then i oso get to play with e paper lanterns. din really walk ard with it but at least i get to light them n hang them ard... haha... helmi even burnt his lantern. then when we wnet back, i was pratically jogging back. too cold to walk, my face n hands were numb. suddenly felt v miserable. whenever i'm v cold, i would feel v miserable n sad then would feel like crying... *paiseh to say this* anyway... now i have moved my laptop to my bed n i'm snuggling in my comforter. (so i cant really type properly so may haf a lot of typo error. hee...)

in the morning i planned to run lo. but then after running for a min, it got so cold tat i u-turn back. i was already wearing a windbreaker n bermudas instead of shorts. help!!! now quite sad tat i cant really run outdoor le... muz go impe (sth like a sports hall) now... sigh.. so not really convenient. n now i got a cough n sore throat. so try to drink herbal tea lo but cant really help. maybe dun eat icecream le... hee... but then my fav le...

then i suddenly had an urge to cook sth. not that i can cook well la.. but juz feel like it. so coming wk gg to far east to check out wat i can buy to cook. maybe sushi? then can ask everyone to be my guinea pigs!!! hee... or see wat the others haf a craving for... then can try to experiment? haha... only prob is tat no cooking utensils lo so muz go n buy. then maybe use the common kitchen. tat's y cant prep anything tat's too complicated.

okok... tAt's abt it for now... muz go do work le...
p.s. yest i was v sian. then when i look at myself in the mirror, i suddenly haf this thought. i need to go for plastic surgery!!! haha!!! feel i look v weird. nvm.. juz a strange thinking... haha...

2004-10-02T02:10:00.000-05:00

now is 2am in the morning. actually i plan to sleep le... but i sort of waiting for someone... erm... not physically waiting but more of juz hoping tat person will take some action n tok to me. hee... i juz went to read some of my frens' blog. one really had a great impact on me. she was toking abt her relationship. i can really feel her worries, complicated feelings, insecurities in her entries. i guess sometimes its common for gals. however i'll still wonder y ppl will wan to get into a relationship though there'll be so much worries. half a yr ago, i was enjoying my singlehood until i came here. sometimes i really cant stand myself cuz i tink i v desperate like tat. maybe ppl are more vulnerable when alone overseas. they need a form of emotional support n tat's y another partner comes in. it may seems like the wrong motive for finding a bf/gf. actually i dun even haf a target... juz daydreaming. n i kept telling myself... without guys, gals can oso survive. yeah!!!

recently we kept talking alot abt these stuff... sigh... show how insecure we felt. but juz toking abt it will help to sort things out... make things simpler??? hee... finding excuses la..

erm.. my mind cmi le... cant tink of anything to write oso... today is xtian's bdae... happy birthday gal!!!!

2004-09-30T01:34:00.000-05:00

these few days were freezing cold... esp in the morning. i'll snuggle in my comforter, reluctant to get out of bed. even opening the door is a challenge cuz once i stepped out of my room, a cold breeze will kill me instantly...*brrrr... then nowadays i wear 3 layers of clothes lo, even in my room i has to wear a jacket. the temp now ranges from 10 to 20+. cant imagine how it'll be like when winter comes. help!!!

erm... i haf finished 2 mid-terms le, another one on fri... sigh... actually i shld start studying now but i was too sian to do so. tat's y i typing blog now. haha... tue was the MAF. in singapore i din really pay a lot of attention to this fest other than eating mooncakes, go n shang yue. this year, i was v excited abt maf. maybe bcuz i'm overseas so the thought of being so far away from family n frens made me v homesick n start to appreciate my frens here. i went to buy mooncakes n we had a mini gathering in the PAR hall. v sorry to say, but the mooncakes taste really awful... not even 10% of wat i haf eaten in singapore. but it din really bother me alot cuz i was already v happy to at least haf a grp of frens wif me, eating supper n tok cock toget. i guess tat's one thing diff abt me le. in the past, i would really be v particular abt food tat i tend to forget to appreciate the ppl ard me.

i guess over here, i sort of learnt to observe ppl more n try to understand them better. maybe its under the influence of one of my frens. he always tell me abt how to tell a person's character, y they do certain things. its gd in a way cuz i'll learn to be more sensitive, a better listener n oso discover my own flaws. but i'm oso afraid tat i'll be more cynical, n sometimes i'll say nth cuz i find it pointless to repeat wat everyone has said. erm... muz tink tink...though there are ppl who's find it v weird tat y i'm still walking to sch instead of taking buses, i still continue... (at least until i really buay tahan the weather). actually i enjoy walking ard or jogging bcuz it was like having my personal space. can sort thru my thoughts, daydream abit... hee... sometimes i dinj really haf a solution to wat i'm tinking or any new resolutions, but i guess its impt tat ppl haf time to juz "think". it may not be productive but at least its a form of relieving stress... who knows when u may haf an idea on how to solve ur probs, get new enlightenments etc..

i guess recently at night i'll become v solemn... (abit like BD... hee..). esp when i was toking to helmi. he nv fails to amaze me. abt wat he tinks, wat he does etc... cant say tat i agree with him totally but at least it provides me a different point of views. i was telling him abt bonding wif ppl. sometimes it doesnt req a long time to build a strong frenship. to me when i tok to ppl, its the "connections" b/w us tat matters. u muz be able to find tat u n the fren haf this emotional bond toget...(ermm... u guys understand wat i'm trying to say? hee... sorry... tried my best to describe le) even if i seldom tok to this fren, it always feel like we are gd frens. on the other hand, one can always meet but u juz know tat u two cant attain another higher level of frenship. sometimes it may take time n fate oso plays an impt role. juz like me n py, in sec 1 n 2, we dun even know each other well... now we are best frens le...(hope tat she tinks this way.. hee...)

come to tink of it, i only knew my frens here for abt 1 n 1/2 mths. yet it seems like i knew them for v long time le... though i dun really know them v well, but i felt comfortable with them... sigh... though there will still be probs, but i guess we haf to learn to forget n take things easy bah. i tink i smile more often le, at least i tink i more childish here compared to when i'm in singapore. even myself cant tell whether it's a change in my character or... haha... but then i still haf my morning blues, my super "xin fu" expression whenever there's gd food. hee...

ok la... v tired le... erm.. this entry is juz for me to fa xie my emotions. tink tat writing it down oso makes me feel gd. not tat i'm sad or troubled. better sleep le or else will sleep during lectures again. (*then helmi will secretly take my pencil n write on my book again*) nite...

2004-09-27T16:46:00.000-05:00

yup yup... i just went to far east to buy mooncakes. actually i haf been hesitating whether i should go n buy or not cuz its not v near to my place n i haf exams coming. initially i decided not to go le but then suddenly one of my seniors say he's gg so... haha.. i juz tag along lo. though not much variety...(cuz mostly sold out) i tink i quite lucky cuz my fav is still there!!! single egg yolk... yum yum... bought one whole box, seemed v greedy but then can share with everyone mah... surprisingly i din buy other stuff except for herbal tea. recently feel tat i'm gg to get sick soon, dun feel v well. hope tat herbal tea helps.

juz received a letter from my fren in singapore. quite happy to receive letter, i always thought tat its better than email. more personalized n i like the feeling of writing something. the feeling of waiting for letter n then finding it in ur letterbox... gan jue hen hao...

now is the mid-term period so everyone mugging away. guess i dun really feel stress by the others le... not tat i try to catch up with them, juz tat i learn to do things my way. bernardo once said: "over here, we eat with singaporeans, meet singaporeans everyday, then go back to room to study, next day wake up to go to sc. so how is it different from studying in singapore?" this really made me wonder... is it how i'm gg to lead my 4 yrs here. likyin say muz make the most out of the american system, tat's wat we are here for. i'm ashamed to say tat i haf forgotten my 5 resolutions i made when i juz reached here. but then i'm v certain tat i'm not gg to be like this le... studies is 1st priority but it does not mean its the only priority. muz learn to strike a balance.

2004-09-25T01:31:00.000-05:00

yest was xiuli's birthday so we planned a "surprise party" for her except that it wasnt really a surprise anymore. haha... she sort of knew it cuz our acting skills not gd enuf. anyway we cooked mee suan, bought icecream cake n some chinese dishes la. it wasnt tat type of america party lo... more of a get-together n everyone juz tok. hee... abit paiseh cuz we need xiuli to wait outside the room till everyone arrives. there wasnt alot of ppl but i tink actually its quite wen xin le. very hard to get everyone to meet nowadays. the food was gd, the ppl are nice n with likyin's radio in the background... yeah... it was a success. the next bdae is liuhao's. hee... now we haf to come up wif new things le.

recently was our midterms then i was quite busy trying to rush the projects, hw n study for exams at the same time. then on thurs nite, i met helmi to do the machine problem (sort of a CS proj) at engin hall. we reached there at ard 630pm n we stayed there all the way till 11pm. n yet we din finish!!! there was a mistake somewhere but we sat there for hours still cant solve. tink until i shack out. at ard 10pm, i was filled with desperation n almost wan break down le... then i juz gave up n went back. cuz i still haf to rush hw tat's due on fri...

in the end i was v tired on fri... look like hald\f-dead when i walked ard. (can imagine my si ren lian... haha...) n then me n helmi went to vending rm to mug... cuz i haven finish my hw... arghh. we met the seniors there. i bought coffee la... no choice i cant even tink. n the worst thing happen... I SPILLED THE COFFEE N MY SENIOR WAS SITTING IN FRONT OF ME USING HIS LAPTOP!!. wa... really v jialat lo... i dun know wat happen to his laptop now...(at least it was working juz now) n his pants got stained too. i felt so bad n so guilty. super paiseh!!! SORRY!!! luckily helmi was there wif me. cuz i was too shocked to tink n he helped me to clear up the mess. without him, i tink i'll die on the spot. thank helmi.

after i felt so miserable. almost wan to cry...*weep* i was very tired n i cant conc at all, then this stupid thing happen... n now i add one more item to my "blunders list". ppl muz haf thought tat i'm super lousy. i felt tat way too... so i was wondering whether i shld go for the thanksgiving trip with the seniors. they are v nice to offer us la... but i super stressed oso.

anyway... we went to the quad after the party to chill out. we want to do star-gazing but then lao tian bu zhuo mei... all stars covered by clouds. hee... but it was v relaxing to juz lie down on the grass fields n tok. we sang, cycle, saw bernardo doing cartwheels... haha... guess it's gd to take a break la. it's been a long week n more are coming....

dun know how to end this... here's sth...
"ships aren't built to stay in harbours"

2004-09-19T14:39:00.000-05:00

yest is the pot-b-q for SSA. it was held at crystal lake park. in the morning, i dragged myself out of the bed so tat i can go n prep my green bean soup... cuz i slept at 4plus the day b4 n i was super blur blur when i woke up. we borrowed the seniors' kitchen to cook. quite paiseh to trouble them. they actually plan to do laundry on that day n now they had to accomodate us cuz we are coming. thank so much!!! actually both of us haf no experience in cooking green bean soup so we juz agar agar... haha... muz testing mah, treat this as practice b4 we move out. eventually it turned out ok la... though it looked like green bean paste rather than soup. haha... but it was gd...i was addicted to it!!!(i ate one whole bowl of it while doing essay at nite)

at the Pot-b-q, we saw alot of ppl that we haf nv seen b4. i met some of the grad students from NUS. they are part of some special prog. Mark tried explaining to me but i was still v lost. n the most amazing thing is that they are all chem engin students. yeah... the seniors brought alot of food like curry chicken, turkey leg, fried rice, cha-ye-dan etc... the food was really popular, snatched up at once. n they taste gd... i found swings there n me n likyin so excited. cuz haven play wif swing for a v long time le... juz tat i was so tired tat i had a bad headache so cant enjoy myself to the max. we oso met Liana who was from NJ. she's oso from singapore, juz tat she's an indonesian. she stayed at LAR. it's weird tat we nv met her b4. but anyway, now we haf met... hee... one more fren le. tat place was really very nice n serene with all the great scenery n big grass patches. lying on the grass n lazing ard... hao xin fu... know tat we can cycle here in abt 15 min time.. hee... muz get a bicycle le...

one sad thing was that can tell that not everyone was really having lots of fun. it got nth to do wif the pot-b-q, juz tat we haf too much on our mind. some tinking abt work n mid-terms, some worrying abt apt-mates n some both. i was v troubled by sth someone said n my frens oso gave me some advice. i suddenly realised tat not everything always seem so innocent n simple. one still need to know how to play by the rules of life. initially i thought i can escape all these when i came over to US but then... ... i reflected on my own life in the past month. i tink i really need to make some changes. muz learn not to always ask others for help le... muz be independent. though most of the ppl here are nice but still not gd to own ppl favour. i had this tinking b4, always better to help others than asking ppl for help. well... i oso decide tat only share my happiness wif other ppl... unhappy things only keep to myself better. dun need to burden others le... esp i feel quite bad tat i always fan xiuli abt my own probs.

dun know y i suddenly become so mei you yong. even some of my frens tink tat this is not the Bao tat they know. guess maybe i'm still in the transition period. maybe after a while... i'll be the same old Bao tat was in singapore(hopefully better oso... smile more... haha...)

okok... so from now on no more depressing stuff for my frens le... i tink i haf written a lot of depressing entries for this blog. guess tat everyone muz haf feel sian le... hee... dun worry. next time u read my blog... u'll burst out laughing. haha!!!

"haf faith in urself"

2004-09-17T23:59:00.000-05:00

i juz haf a gd afternoon nap. yeah!!! juz now liu hao called, i cant remember wat i said to her... i tink i sort of "yu wu lun ci". aiyo... so paiseh. now is the weekend n yet i dun really feel v happy. cuz weekend is the time to chiong work. guess tat in Sin is oso the same. sigh... ppl, tat's uni life!!!

this past week basically not v exciting. din do anything tat's v interesting. a brief summary of the "highlights" of the wk... 1)jonathan's lungs ruptured!!! i was so shocked when i heard it, cuz nv knew lungs can ruptured n it seems quite serious. v worried for him esp when we are alone overseas. the nxt day we went to visit him. well... he seemed pretty ok. he can even come over for dinner, went for bible study n continue lessons. juz tat cant do strenuous stuff. heng ah... jon better take care.

2)took a night trip down to crystal lake. SQ wanted us to rackey the place first since we having pot-b-q tml. in the end me n xiuli went toget in SQ's car. we are supposed to meet at 8pm but due to my carelessness n miscommunication, we waited for 1 1/2 h b4 SQ came. arghh... almost gave up. though it's at nite, i still tink the park is wonderful. maybe it's bcuz of the peaceful surroundings n under the moonlight, one can really feel v calm n immerse in the whole nature. shiok rite? the whole place is super big n i simply fall in love wif it. if i can drive, i'll definitely go there v often to study, jog etc... luckily tml i gg again so maybe i can get a new perspective abt crystal lake.

3)today vincent brought us to this asian supermarket called the Far East. the name's really approriate cuz it's really FAR. the exterior of the store is not impressive n u can miss it easily. it's juz a simple door with the name written on the wall by spraypaint. once i stepped in, i'm can feel the happiness in me!!! hao xin fu!!! haha... i know i v stupid la. it's not even like a supermarket, more of like a grocery shop tat's in the sixties(singapore style). got vege n fruits. lots of stuff tat's from thai, china, vietnam... i even found sambal chilli, pandan leaf extract, tou suan and most importantly my BAOs!!! haha... i bought 2 packets at one go la...how can miss this chance? tink i'll go there pretty often, how i wish i can move out so tat i can cook....hee...

4)went to Vincent, Dennis, Yinyi, Shuting's house for housewarming. B4 tat likyin, xiuli n me went to walmart to get some stuff for tml's pot-b-q. SQ drove us there. i felt quite guilty cuz we made him wait for a quite along time. n he haven eaten yet while we juz had dinner.(tat's y we late) felt tat he was quite unhappy wif us. paiseh... after tat we dropped by his hse b4 gg over for hsewarming. his hse really big loh, 2 storey apartment for 2 ppl. but it's considered one of the more ex ones. his hse quite cosy... though i personally prefer the one-floor type. too lazy to climb up n down. haha... at hsewarming, there's quite alot of ppl. there's this ba bao fan tat's prep by yinyi, it taste real gd. the hse abit smaller, one-floor for 4 ppl. but got 2 full bathroom, centralised location n cheap. ah... over there, initially i felt quite lost. dun know who to tok to... what to say. then i juz went to sit at the balcony. with the breeze blowing in ur face... really v shiok, though its a bit cold... it's v refreshing. then some ppl dropped by n tok. it was v funny to tok to angela n kaibei abt the winter tat's coming. they said it was VERY VERY COLD. it may even drop to -20 degree celsius in jan. Tian ah!!! i tink i will cfm die liao... suffer like xiao. maybe hibernate in my comforter forever. haha...

2004-09-17T04:14:00.000-05:00

now is 415 am n yet i'm still awake. no choice la... need to do assign n do readings. though kaibei told me tat i should not screw up my body clock(cuz last yr he did tat), i felt tat actually its much more efficient. cuz in the daytime, i spent most of my time toking/chatting. or there will sth to do... in the end i cant even get my work done. i know i'm not disciplined enough. very unlike the old mugger bao. but guess i'll haf to adopt this new learning habit. luckily my roomie not home today so i can enjoy the music n do stupid things in my room. haha...

mid-term starts next week, everyone is quite stressed out. esp when the projects n more impt assignments all come at the same time. then sometimes i felt so overwhelmed wif work tat i almost wanted to cry. guess i din study for a long time le so not used to it yet. today i really felt like crying n killing my TA at the same time. i was having my computer sci lab n my TA basically ignored me even though i kept raising my hand. i got a lot of questions i dun know how to do mah... so i haf to wait for him to help other ppl. i waited for abt 15 min each time... (note: i waited for him for at least 3 times) arghhh... i felt sexually n racially discriminated. so angry when u finally finish. rationally i know it may not be his fault so i kept telling myself to calm down. but the emotional side got the better of me.

*suddenly felt sleepy.. tink better sleep now... update another time*

2004-09-11T22:42:00.000-05:00

Today I’m very determined to spend my whole sat slacking though I was seriously stressed out by everyone… they are all back hm now studying. Sigh… finally the weekend’s here but dun really seem to feel the joy. Instead I was v troubled abt the amt of work tat I haf to do. Guess everyone (no matter where u are) all v busy wif school work. But then I sort of come up wif a rountine, I plan sat to be my rest day. I’m gg to be a slave to my studies. I’m supposed to enjoy the learning process.
Though I learnt a lot abt being independent, trying to get along wif ppl… I tink tat I’m still lacking sth in my life. I felt tat I haf no motivation, inspiration or goals in my life. I juz do things like a zombie… follow routine, without a purpose, without a passion. (reminds me of TJ’s “passion, purpose, drive”) this sort of affect my performance in a way, I wasn’t able to put my heart into wat I’m doing. It’s not tat US not gd, it’s juz tat I haf this empty space in my heart. I felt so lost, confused, sometimes I dun even know wat I’m doing. How??? Wat should I do?
Helmi, my fellow chem. Engine fren, told me abt how he tried to find some motivation through his army stuff. Sometimes I’m really v impressed by him. The way tat he’s in control of his life, clear n passionate abt his saf thingy n he’s v mature n thinks v deep abt everyday issues. But then I cant find myself to be like him. regarding certain things, we haf a v different perspective. Maybe he’s v attached to his army n I cant really understand wat he’s been through.
So now while I’m typing my blog, I’m trying to do some tinking at the same time. hide myself in the room n gif myself some personal space. Over here, I’m like a slacker. No CCA, din join any extra activities or any other sports. Erm… maybe I should join sth… okok…. Stop le…
Bye… not in the mood to write le…

2004-09-09T02:12:00.000-05:00

I just finish reading 1 chapter of my rhetoric book n I got so sleepy. So decided to take a break n write my blog. I haven been updating my blog for a long time due to my schoolwork. The work n quizzes are coming fast so muz try to settle them first. Actually I am trying to change my study habit so tat I can study at night cuz nowadays really no time to study during daytime. By the time I come back is already evening… I guess a haf lost abit of my spirit of chionging. Dun know whether it’s gd or bad but I tend to take things at a slower pace… well, gd in a sense tat I haf lower risk of high blood pressure. Haha…
The last weekend was a long weekend for us due to the labor day. So SSA organized a trip down to Chicago for the freshies… hee… I tink I’m like a v ignorant gal who has nv went out. Abit suan gu but I quite excited mah. Cuz I quite sian here le… the drive from U-C to Chicago wasn’t as long as I thought. Took less than 3h. maybe bcuz the driver was SQ so we reached there v fast. (SQ got a ticket for speeding) I was a bit sad initially cuz all the gals in my batch were in other vans n I was dumped with a group of guys n a gal called serena whom I dun know. Well… but I tink it turned out to be fun. The guys all v “nationalistic” lo. Kept toking non-stop abt army… arghh… but they are fun to tok to la. N serena was a v friendly person. She’s a graduate student doing her Phd in psychology here. Chim leh… I was quite impressed by her. She seems so knowledgeable n smart. Wah… felt abit inspired to take up psych.
Our first stop was at the Chinatown. U can imagine how happy I was when I reached there. When I saw the pastry shops, I was so excited tat the guys thought tat I was crazy. even though I haven bought them, juz by seeing them I already felt a great sense of happiness surrounding me. Haha… !!! I dragged shenting to buy food with me n I was so lost cuz I wanted to get everything! Over at uiuc, u dun even get to see such food lo… so sad, sobz. In the end I ate glutinous rice ball with red bean. Hao xin fu!!! We went to eat dim sum for lunch. For those who knows me well, u can definitely guess how I muz haf felt when I went to eat lunch. I tink I scared the ppl seating at my table cuz I really kept ordering. I wanted to try everything mah n they are great. The shrimp dumplings, springrolls, chicken feet… I tink I can juz camp there. Of course in the end, my table’s bill was the highest.
Afternn is free n easy. So the freshies took the subway n got to The Loop. It’s supposed to be one of the attractions cuz this area haf a lot of malls, buildings, n nice architecture. Their train stations quite old n their ticketing machines v weird. Retro lo… xiuli said tat in developed countries, these facilities are usually quite outdated cuz they haf such stuff a long time ago. N now it’ll cost them a lot juz to upgrade them. They also haf a lot of revolving doors n gates which u seldom get to see in SIN.
Chicago is really v big n I felt quite clustered too. We all abit crazy cuz we were v excited to see the high-rise buildings. In UC everything is at most 4 levels lo..(except some of the URH) so we went “wa… there’s tall buildings here”… some of them went to take the horse carriage ride while we went to hancock tower. Hancock tower is one of the “muz see” attraction is the Chicago travel guidebk. We went up to the 94th level n the scene is fabulous. U will get so surprised at how the big the city is. There’s also this lake in Chicago but the lake is so big tat even though I’m on 94th level, I cant see the whole lake. If u look at my photo, u’ll tink tat it’s the sea. (tat’s wat I thought initially too)
After this, we decided to juz walk ard n see if there’s anything interesting. We walked along north Michigan ave n there’s a lot of shops there. I cant say the things are cheap but there’s variety. We walked for a few hours n we got quite tired. We wanted to see the other attractions but they are so far away from each other. Sigh… we stopped at this donut shop, n Thruv n Bernard bought 12 donuts at one go… dun understand how they can eat so many… we haf donuts everyday for breakfast lo. Actually we wanted to go to an Italian reastaurant fro dinner but the when we reached there then we realized tat it’s closed. We tried to scout the nearby area for alternatives but to our shock, most of the restaurants are not open??? We only found taco bell n kfc. However we dun feel like eating fastfood, (cuz we sick of dorm food). Haha… then we made one of the best decisions of the day--- we went back to Chinatown. Chinatown is actually quite far from our location so we took the subway all the way back. The seniors n others were quite surprised tat we went back. But we din regret. We went to this restaurant called Penang. I felt like I’m back in Singapore… ah…. We had sambal kangkong, hor fun, fried rice, laksa, ice kachang etc… I was so hyper throughout the whole meal. Hee…
At night we went to Navy pier. It’s a mini park tat haf some rides, night scenes lo… not exactly v interesting. I went to took a ride called the wave swinger. Basically it’s just like u r sitting on a swing they just lift everyone up n swing them ard lo… I regrettd it the mmt I clipped on the belt. The chair seemed so unstable. During the ride, I almost wanted to cry. I grapped the chain so tightly n I tink I looked so terrible. The guys kept asking me to open my eyes lo.. wa lao… I was v tensed n rigid cuz I dun dare to move. I scarec ta once I move, I’ll tipped the equilibrium. Sigh… dun know whether I’m stupid to pay $ to torture myself. At 10plus there’s a firework show. I was v impressed n mesmerized. Though the ppl say that it wasn’t as gd as the one at the esplanade, I’m already v satisfied. The gals were saying tat’s it a pity tat we din see this wif the “correct guy”.
The next day is our “crazy shopping spree”. Haha… they brought us to this place where the things are super cheap. Tink there’re the factory outlet. I nv knew I can shop so long. (other than the HKG trip) the branded stuffs are cheap compared to SIN but not so cheap until I can part wif my $. I bought a guess jeans at US$20+… gd bargain rite>? To xintian n yili, do u still remember the timberland sandals tat I saw in HKG? I tried looking for them here but dun haf… then I saw the Merrell one n …I bought it. The stupid thing is, this one is not as nice as the one I like n it’s much more ex lo… tink it’s the biggest mistake I made. Felt so guilty… cuz it’s one of the most ex item I bought tat day. My frens console me n said tat I muz wear it for throughout my stay here, to maximize it.... haha..
This wkend, other than having fun eating n shopping, I oso learnt a lot abt EQ, HR etc…I realized tat relationships between ppl are actually v complicated. Felt abit troubled… not tat I haf any prob, juz tat I think living abroad, frens are really v impt. Trying to see things as an outsider…u can get a better understanding n observe how everyone is like. I always believe in if u lose sth, u’ll gain sth n vice versa… but dun know whether this applies to human relationships or not.
Xiuli told me tat her fren once said, “conversation is abt ppl taking turns to speak”. This really make me do some self-reflection. Am I a gd listener? Did I always interrupt ppl? I admit i often commit these mistakes. I kept telling myself tat I muz be a better listener, try to be understand other ppl’s point of view. It really isn’t easy. Up till now… I wasn’t making any progress. I’m trying…
Ok la… it’s already 2 am… yet I haven study much… been slacking a lot these days. Aiyo… ppl… take care!!!

2004-09-04T03:30:00.000-05:00

The start of the second week in school was the official start of our stressful years ahead. The quizzes, assignments n readings start to pile on us. I felt tat this is even more jialat than jc years. At least in jc I haf to cope with cca, but here I’m a slacker leh… the work is piling on top on me n I haf such a hard time catching up with everything. I think is mainly the difference in the units, language n formula they use. So I super headache…
Some differences to share with everyone:
Use pounds (lb) instead of kg; feet instead of metres
Use specific gravity (which is density of substance / density of water) instead of the actual density
Use gravity as 32.174ft/s2 instead of 9.81
Pronounce pipette as pie-pette not pi-pette; advertisement as ad-ver-ties-ment
These are mainly the mathematical parts, so I still trying to cope. Most of frens here really stressed me out… almost doing hw everyday n they study tests one wk in advance. Well… I shall not be affected. (try…) I tink the system here emphasis a lot on consistency n though the Americans like to party n haf fun, they are still v serious abt their studies. Studying here has its own merits n demerits. Maybe in Singapore wil be more xiong but I guess we cope with different types of probs like living alone, interacting n immersing into a different culture.
Nowadays the things I learn are still pretty much jc stuff which can make me feel quite sian. However I feel v happy when I attend the Computer Science lectures. Cuz I always learnt something new there n it’s quite interesting. I think my frens in Singapore muz be tinking tat I xiao… how can I like CS??? Hee… I still remember I was v happy after attending my 1st Physics discussion session. We are supposed to do questions on the spot n if we dun know juz ask the TA n classmates. Initially I was v frustrated cuz I dun remember wat I learnt b4. but then the ppl v nice, they taught me n I suddenly learnt n understand more than my jc stuff. (though now I’m still stuck at my physics assign. Haha…) I guess I like the feeling of learning cuz u will feel v satisfied after gaining some new knowledge n u know u haf spend ur time for gd purposes… okok…tat’s it abt study.
On 31st sept, I went to two orientation talks abt “best buddies” n “community justice”. They are abt comm. Service. 1st one is abt being buddy with someone tat has intellect disabilities n the other is abt dealing with delinquent youths, be a prisoner’s penpal or even be a mediator. I was overwhelmed by the choices n I dun really wan to overload myself. It was a hard decision to make… in the end, I decided to be a penpal n mediator. Butu I muz apologize cus I took the penpal package but I still haven written anything. Cuz lately too busy n tired le. (actually I know its excuses)
Talking abt my housing, I’m staying in this place called PAR. Well its actually at one corner of the campus n quite far from the engineering campus. However I tink I was quite lucky to stay here. Cuz there’s a lot of us staying at PAR n FAR.(FAR is juz opp PAR) ard 8 of us so we’ll often meet for meals, go to places toget, haf supper, outings etc… it’s difficult to contact other ppl cuz no hp n seldom see each other in classes. Well… one of my frens v envious tat we staying near each other cuz she stay at the other corner of the campus n everytime she’ll haf to go back alone or leave early. Poor thing, sad leh…I tink I’m juz lucky.
I tink I need to mention abt the animals here. There’s A LOT of squirrels here. Heard my frens say tat it’s not as big as the ones in UK. Well… I dun know.. but then they really cute lo. Not scared of human, like to lie ard n strike funny poses. My fav one is when they eating something. Next is abt the ducks. They like to fly in formations(the arrow head) n they got a schedule. Every few min, 1 flock will fly by n they’ll “quack, quack”. I tink I quite stupid, I nv know ducks can fly. (or maybe those I saw wasn’t ducks?)they oso got those type of small birds like sparrows. They flew in SWARMS. From afar, u’ll tink it’s locust. Quite scary…there are oso a lot of small “flys” ard. N I really hate them cuz they will fly into ur eyes. I remember I was running n for consecutive 2 days 2 flys flew into my eyes. Irritating… n when u change out of ur clothes, u’ll realize there are these insects on ur clothes n even on ur body. Arghh…
Tink I better mention abit abt my frens here. They really make up a huge part of my life here n they always serve as a source of emotional support for me. Hee… maybe they dun know abt it but I guess when someone is alone overseas, it’s really impt to haf fellow countrymen. This yr, there’s not a lot of gals. Shenting is the gal I met at the airport. I’m v lucky to haf seen her. Cuz we hang out a lot but it’s a pity tat she moved to somewhere far so lesser chance to meet. She looks like the party type but actually she’s the v guai type. She has a super hyper roomie who always seems to amuse her. She’ll always took abt the funny things tat her roomie did. Shenting oso has this prob of laughing n talking at the same time n we totally couldnot understand her. Haha… well… in PAR, there’s oso xiuli n liu hao. They are the ones whom I normally eat with. They are UK exchange students. Super cute gals, always v funny n they like to bicker with luhai, Daniel. N their big plan now is to slim down. (they are not fat) v sweet n fun-loving. Haha… n now there’s a scandal b/w xiuli n Daniel cuz Daniel always niao xiuli. Always comment on her figure, her diet plans etc. sometimes I really buay tahan him n today I guess gif him a small lect on how to treat gals. Hee… I know I v mean. Haha… Daniel is our “sports capt”. He v enthu abt soccer n always org soccer sessions for the guys. I tink his goal is to win the U of Mich guys. There’s oso luhai whom I tink v gao xiao. Well… I see him v often cuz I haf some classes with him. He’s the one who brought me to the church. One incident to note. For the past few days he has been complaining abt how hard is it to study for his psych test blah n blah… then today I realize tat his psych test is next thurs. Oh my god!!! he’s quite sociable n seems to know lot of ppl.(unlike me) well… I muz oso mention the “pizza man”. Bernard is the only one who can out eat me. Sometimes I wonder wat’s in his stomach. Every night he will eat one whole pizza for supper!!! N tat’s after a full dinner. Last night was the most scary. He bought a burger n fries for supper n we are teasing him abt his pizza. Then after he finished the food, he went to buy one pizza n finished the whole thing. Arghh… life is unfair… he still a skinny fellow lo. I got ask him this qn b4, “is it u felt v lonely here so u hua bei fen wei shi lang?” haha… n he always look like he juz woke up. Sometimes like v blur like tat so makes me wonder how he became a scholar. But then I guess maybe he shen cang to lou. He’s actually a v humorous n comical person. Can act well… n always like to take photo. He’ll try to act like paparazzi . yest there’s an accident n there’re police cars ard. He even took a photo of the cars. N he’s v amazed by the tv in liu hao’s rm cuz he doesn’t haf one in his rm. N he shared one incident abt his roomie. N this caused us to tok abt toilet stuff for ard half an hour. Damned gross!!! Haha…. Now… I’ll juz mention these few, share more next time.
Juz came back from a housewarming party by some of the SSA’s seniors. 4 guys are sharing this whole “house” it’s 3 storey high n each haf a room of his own. I tink the décor is gd lo… n the room is big, price reasonable too. Wah.. I was so impressed, felt like moving out le. I learnt some new stuff. 1)the fruit punch are not “innocent” fruit punch, got alcohol in it. 2)when u having a party n the door is opened, anyone can juz walk in. 3) it’s not advisable to walk ard in the streets carrying a opened can of beer or alcohol or even juz a cup esp if u are underage. (in us under 21 is underage) the police will juz stop u and check.
Well… if ppl u’ve managed to read until this point, really thank u so much for ur patience. I know I v longwinded in this entry… haha… in abt 5 hours time we are settin f off to Chicago. It’s the long wkend cuz mon is our labor day. Haha… though I still haf a lot of sch work but muz try to enjoy myself first. I already buay tahan listening to ppl toking abt work. I guess I cant be a nerd le. Hee… tat’s it for today.
“love ppl as though u’re loving urself”

2004-09-01T01:22:00.000-05:00

I guess I haf been complaining a lot these few days… I know all of yap pl read oso read until v sian. But then… bear with me, I still haf sth more to complain!! Haha!!! Well actually juz two more… hee… number 1: I had my 1st chem prac n I’m quite gan cheong abt it. Cuz every prac will counts towards my grade n this prac v chim. My prac is 4 h. can ya believe it!! I oso dun know y somebody can stay inside a lab tat long. The TA is supposed to gif instructions on how to use the prog to obtain data. He kept saying tat today’s prac is pretty easy n tat’s all he said. He din tok abt how to use prog, which solution for wat.. blah n blah… then when we ask him questions, he’s not even sure himself. I was so peicek wif him. Moreover my grp members v weird. There’s this guy who kept doing some stuff tat we dun understand or agree. I almost feel like strangling him. Arghh!!! I’m totally lost on how to write the lab report. I dun even know what’s gg on… tink this time sure die le. N this is only the 1st prac… help…
Number two… I tink I’m living in a triple room instead of a double. N I’m the “extra” one, like playing gooseberry. My roomie’s bf has come for dun know how many days le… n at nite lo. While I’m typing this, they are on the upper bunk of the bed. I muz make sure I can lift my head more than an elevation of 45º or else I’ll see them on the bed. Dun ask me wat they doing cuz I’m not so pervert to look at them. But the bf quite ok la… at least can tell they show me some respect by not doing v weird stuff in front of me. They oso try not to intrude my area. So tat’s gd… but v hard to study when someone up there talking leh… n even harder not lift my head… haha…
Well… that’s all for my complaints. Today the guys in my hall seem to be having a tour ard the girls’ level. The whole crowd of them walking ard n juz walk into any room tat’s open. The whole swarm of them came into my room to chat with my roomie. My roomie quite popular with them. After tat, even 2 guys came up to look for her. Zai… n for the 1st time I see wat’s called flirting over here. Juz now I went to washroom n juz observe “flirting” for the 2nd time. the guy was saying tat this gal looks like one of the movie stars n they juz kept listing all the actors in the movies, n the guy looks like blah n blah… erm…
Some observations tat I made in the short time I’m over here.
1) the ppl like to say “tat’s cool”, “tat’s awesome” MANY, MANY times
2) they LOVE peanut butter(pb). They had it for every meal, haf pb cookie, pb cheesecake, pb choc milkshake, pb mixed with icecream, n all types of weird snacks
3) the gals like to wear pants n shorts with words written on the back.4) I tink the American gals dun really eat a lot. we are worse. Haha…
5) They haf limited handphones here. All v big size n less than 10 types?… so ppl, treasure ur hp. N they dun say sms, it’s called text msg n text msg is not included in phone plans.
6) All Chinese restaurants here will gif out fortune cookies… hee…
Well tat’s all I can remember for now… I see if there’s anymore interesting ones n share

2004-08-29T23:32:00.000-05:00

i tink i really rusty le, after so many mths of slacking. i dun haf the same momentum for studying le. *sobz* i met shen ting to mug toget at the illini union but i kept dozing off while reading the writings for rhet 105. lihui!!! my best mugging partner, i need help!!! haha... then in the end i spent abt 4 h at union but i only manage to finish reading for 2 courses out of my many courses. n now i'm revising how to solve differential eqns le. forgot everything n i realise my math 385 is gg tp get harder. so no choice but to jiayou n i seriously tink i return everything to mrs leong. my meth lect now is cmi so i haf to kao zi ji. studying halfway then tink better take a break, buay tahan le... so writing blog lo.
yest i went to the sweetcorn fest. basically i tink this place only haf 1 event lo n tat's the sweetcorn thingy. it's held at lincoln sq which is quite a dist from the main campus. there is a mini bazaar seeling lots of stuff ranging from paintings, accessories to stalls promoting volunteerism n homosexuality. though the main character shld be the sweetcorn but surprising only 2 stalls selling corn. there's lots of popcorn, lemonade, nachos everywhere. i tink their butter like bu yong qian. put so much on the corn untilthe oil kept dripping... n i hate dairy products lo. so din really enjoy it. the weather is v hot, yup... n i tink i got tanned a little bit but too bad i was wearing 1 3/4 sleeve shirt. haha... it's quite interesting to note tat they dun sell icecream at the carnival, unlike singapore. their version of cold dessert is this thing call ice shave. it's sth like ice kachang without the ingredients. they will put the ice into a papercone n u eat with a spoon.
i went to this restarant called tang dyansty. it sells chinese cuisine. super gd but super ex. the dishes had a fixed serving, no matter how many ppl. it's a pity tat only me n my fren went so we had to stuff ourselves n abit bo hua. it's really gd la... maybe i'll go pamper myself once in a long time. anyway ppl... i had taken quite a lot of photos n uploaded it le. so can check it out. there's architecture, a vintage car exhibition n the bazaar.
i met likyin n janice for a jog today. both are saf ones so their stamina super gd lo, run wif them stressed leh... i tink my batch v sporty leh. the guys go n play soccer then we jog. oso got go gym, prep to backpack etc... hee... at least its gd for me, got ka kee to do things mah. after tat likyin came to my rm n we juz chat lo. there's this qn she asked me, "wat u tink u'll learn here?" seriously i still not v clear. up till now i can only say i'm exposed to a new culture but it doesnt mean i haf learnt anything. it's sth tat i need to near in mind n constantly reflect upon it.
" life is unpredictable, always treasure every mmt"

2004-08-28T00:36:00.000-05:00

Wa… I thought I’m the one who says I wanna be a nerd. In the end I realize everyone else is studying while I’m the one to keep asking ppl to go out. Aiyo… stressed leh. Sat is the sweetcorn fest so I asked ard to see who wan go. However most of them planned to study for tests, do hw, prep for lects etc. oh dear!!! N I thought studying in US is slack. Tink I better mug on Sunday le. NERD!
Fri nite I went to twin city bible church with luhai. My frens muz be wondering y I went to church when I’m a Buddhist. The story is like this… I wanted to expand my social circle so I wanted to ask other ppl(means my floormates, classmates… basically anyone but Singaporeans) for dinner. I din arrange anything for the nite. I realized it really takes a lot of courage to ask ppl for dinner. All the doors are closed n I din meet any familiar faces. So I told myself the 1st person I see after I bath, I’m gg to ask ker for dinner. Well… my plan failed cuz there’s no one on the corridor. Erm… then I tink v pathetic to spend a fri nite at dorm.
I know tat there’s this Christian thingy for Chinese students n luhai was gg. He told me I’ll be able to meet a lot of ppl over there n it’s a gd chance to start to socialize. So I thought y not. I mean it’s ok to juz go n see how things work so I tag along lo. Surprisingly I met one of my floormate on the way there. She’s oso gg. Tok to her…yeah… but she left after the dinner cuz she gg to another church to see how things work. Felt abit awkward initially cuz luhai seems to know everyone there n I too paiseh to go n hala. But he’s v nice cuz he tried to intro ppl to me. After tat they sang songs n had small group sessions. I really met ppl from all walks of life. There are Taiwanese, hongkongers, Chinese, those American-born, Phd, undergrad… basically one big interesting family. We played some games to try to know each other better. Most of them are much older than me. There are some young girls of my age but they grow up in US so there’s still some small prob in comm..
Overall I felt tat they are nice ppl. they are v friendly n it seems like they are v bonded to this ICCF. I was wondering whether I shld continue to go for their church service cuz I’m not a Christian but I enjoy meeting ppl there. So in a mini dilemma. Erm… well, I’ll tink abt it again.
“Work first and then rest”

2004-08-27T01:03:00.000-05:00

Looking at my table n desk, I felt really bu shuang cuz v messy. But dun know y, no matter how I try to tidy it up… a few hours later, it’ll resume its messy state. Sigh… tink it’s my fault la… well… actually today nth much happened. I only had one comp sci lab session today cuz my physics lesson got cancelled. So I slacked all the way till 3pm. Haha…
Ate lunch with Janice, shenting n luhai at ISR. Up till now, I still try to get out of my social circle. I’m still staying within my own comfort zone n I know this is definitely not gd. Cuz it’s a gd chance for me to be able to study overseas n it’s really crucial tt I make the most of my education. Sounds v politically correct? Hee… well, I wanted to try n interact with the others but its so difficult. Tink is the communication prob. I find it so hard to tok to them n I always feel v self-conscious. Now I knew some Asians on my own floor but I still haven taken the initiative to interact with them. They are v cliqqish. I cant even communicate well with my own roomie. Sigh.. this is so unlike the usual bao rite? I oso find myself v mei you yong. Kept giving myself excuse. Actually this prob has been bugging me for a while le, I’m still trying hard to overcome. I’ll jiayou de!!!
At night I went to the volunteer illini project recruitment. They oso haf a board of director. Listening to the directors toking abt their projects remind me of all the leo club stuff. At tt point I felt like crying. There are so many fond memories n I thought of all my gd frens in Singapore. *sobz* sometimes I really felt v homesick cuz things juz seem so out of my control. In Singapore, at least I juz need to deal with my studies n cca. But here I haf to be in control of my whole life. Sometimes juz feel tt I’m tired. Now over here, I seems like a slacker leh… I wanted to join a lot of stuff leh…
I seems so lousy… guess today I pms. So pessimistic n gif myself so many excuses. Arghh!!! Maybe after a gd sleep, I’ll recharge n chong xin zhen zuo. Yeah!!!

“close ur ears to negative thoughts”

2004-08-25T22:04:00.000-05:00

Today is my first day of sch. It was supposed to be a big day for me as it’s my 1st time studying overseas. But surprisingly, I wasn’t really excited. In fact I was a bit sian cuz I haven studied for a long time. well.. at least it’s better than nth to do ard here.by the time I finished the third lesson, I was v stressed le. The lecturers kept toking abt the tests, exams, assignments etc… wonder how can survive this yr? n dun understand how they can say study in us is more slack?
The lecturers I got really made me felt v amazed. I got this polish one who speaks with a really strong accent. N there’s this chem engine lecturer who seems quite nice but he stressed me out. (he’s the one who gave hw) n there’s this Chinese instructor who spoke as if he’s making an effort to force the words out of his mouth. I haf so much trouble understanding wat he was toking n I almost gif up in exasperation. Arghh!!! N there’s this guy who juz walked out halfway. Yeah!!!
The study culture here really v diff frm tat in Singapore. The lecturers here are v lax here. Some wore tee-shirts, shorts n sandals. The students oso v suay bian. We can wear slilppers, shorts, tee-shirts… basically v shiok. Haha… n the ppl here v vocal, the classes are v interactive. The students juz ask whatever qns they haf… unlike in Singapore where everyone is v passive. One funny thing is they still using chalk here… well… maybe shld change to markers. Hee…
I’m pretty stressed out now. Guess I haf to be like lihui… “aim to be a NERD!!!” haha… wat I plan to do: 1) read the text to prep for lessons 2)do my assign asap 3) check out the websites regularly to update soln n lect. Basically I still trying to tune to study mode. JIAYOU!!!
I tried this bagel at the illini union. It was good!!! It was warm n I bought the choc chip flavour. Long time din haf a gd pastry le… hee… guess I’ll buy tat often too.
In the evening, I went to run with luhai n zhi xiu. V chuan by the end of the run… the guys are fast! Sigh… had a hard time catching up with them. Felt bad tat zhi xiu has to slow down to keep up wif me. Then I was trying to catch up wif luhai all the way. Guess I haf to train more often… hee… well, at least Janice n Lik yin are here. Tink they may oso like running so at least I haf running partners. But I tink they run v fast cuz they haf been trained in army. Nvm… I’ll jiayou. (“,)

2004-08-23T12:58:00.000-05:00

now i'm in my room... waiting for xiuli so we can go and run. these few days' weather are quite good, v bright n sunny. at least i finally felt tt i'm hot while walking on the street. hee... i'm quite surprised when my floor mates said tat they got burnt while tanning or walking on the street. erm...
up till now my roomie still haven come back yet. she juz came at ard 5pm yest. but i was juz abt to go out. well... at least i guess her skin colour correctly... she was actually more like an indian type. v v slim and small size. tink i look like a giant when i stand beside her. we exchanged a few words n tat's it. she went to her fren's party yest n up till now she's still not back. which is actually gd for me. at least i get to enjoy some privacy n i wont feel awkward. my roomie actually quite pretty, those v trendy, hiphop type. luckily her type of music is oso my fav so i guess tat's one benefit cuz she brought a hi-fi set. coincidentally, her hi-fi set is exactly the same as mine at hm. oh... n she brought a tv. but i guess tat's it le. din c a fridge, microwave or watsoever. a bit disappointed. but i guess i oso v paiseh to use her stuff. maybe by the time i come back at nite, she's still not back. hee...
i juz came back n i walked ard for 3 hrs juz to get one class... arghh!!! i need to get a comp sci class but the classes are full n the only one available clashes with my phys lect. so i need to go down n ask for permission to get in. then bcuz of this i emailed the prof, go to see my advisor, go down to the CS department 3 times, reset my password n finally get it done. by the time it's settled, i almost explode!!! well... tat's only the beginning. sigh...
the meal plan finally started on sunday nite. i realised tat they have v early dinner. abt 5 plus, 6 plus. i had my 1st meal at PAR cafeteria. supposed to go with my floor mates but i cant really click with them. so i tink i'm a bit pathetic. the dinner was actually quite v feng sheng. it's a buffet with everything. ranging from appetizer to desserts. i was overwhelmed. but i tink maybe bcuz it;s my 1st time. after tat, it'll be pretty much the same n i'll be sick of it. i sat with this 2 gals. we din really tok. sigh... when i ask them whether they wan icecream, one of them commented tat y i can eat so much??? oh dear... i guess i really eat too much cuz even the other gal agrees with her. sigh... today's breakfast was gd. i luv it. it's like big breakfast set. with ham, french toast, eggs etc... yum yum... wa, i tink it's hard not to get fat here. haha... n i tink recently i'm always looking for food. esp if i'm in my rm, i'll look for things to eat. well it's a bad sign... maybe i shld look forward to starting of sch.
yest nite was the late nighter. it was held at illini union n it's supposed to be a variety of events with all the students ard. initially i thought it's sth like mardi gras, with the whole quad filled, everywhere was having a party n loud music booming in the background. but apparently i was wrong. it's more of like a cultural event with some performances gg on in diff rooms. i watched a hypnotism show. it was hilarious to see ppl doing weird things but i was skeptical abt it. v suspicious leh... went to watch a comedy but i almost fall asleep. tink it's not the comedians' fault, juz tt i was too tired n i cant really understand wat they are saying. there's nth much to see n i got bored soon. sigh.. disappointing...
today is supposed to be another big day. it was the freshmen convacation n after tat it's the fresh nite at IMPE. i felt tat i v ke bei cuz i was alone. at forst my RA brought all of us there. like wat i mentioned earlier, i cant really tok to my floormates. so i kept to myself. at the assembly hall, it's ren shan ren hai. n i lost them in the crowds. thus i wonder ard lo... during the ceremony i even fell asleep cuz their voices sound like lullaby...haha... but at least i thought 1 of the soeeches was interesting n inspiring. he tok abt ppl haf their own story n how we can share our stories n appreciate wat we haf. felt some gan chu. after the ceremony, is the picnic at memorial hall. as i cant contact anyone, i haf to go there alone. *sobz* really v jialat. so i took my food n sat at the bench there. sounds pathetic rite?? i tink so too. luckily i met these 2 malaysian gals on my floor thus i sit toget with them. but then din tok much. i can feel tat they are nice ppl. i start to regret tat i din agree with lik yin tat we request for each other to be room mates. otherwise i would haf some company. first nite at memorial hall was so so lo... they showed the sports teams, the cheerleaders etc. we get to see their performances n i was v amazed at the cheerleaders n dancers. wa!!! i went back to the dorm cuz v tired n i need to contact xiuli too... on the way back need to pass the cemetery. quite scary as there is no specific pathway. then i kept half run, half walk back to hall.
[at 8pm, i met xiuli n liu hao to go to IMPE. tink my chinese tui bu le... cuz some terms i no longer remember how to say in chinese. at IMPE, there's actually not much. we watched the belly-flop competitions, played some games n walk ard n see lo... for the belly-flop, the ppl are supposed to jump into the pool with their belly facing the water. compete n which who has the loudest splash n how red ur chest turns upon effect. at least i had a gd time watching, cuz v entertaining. i oso met these 2 gals who juz came up to say hallo. they had such a big reaction when they know i come from singapore. i felt thay are so funny. cant see wat's wrong with coming from singapore. we explore the building n felt it was actually quite cool. got swimming pools (both indoor n outdoor), gyms, aerobics rm etc. they oso had aerobics classes n some outdoor activities. v tempted to join but dun know whether shld spend the money. *scratch head*
well... pretty much tat's it.. tired le... will write more again.
"Stop blaming others"

2004-08-21T23:12:00.000-05:00

today was a pretty sian day for me though it's weekend. maybe cuz it's a small town so nth much to see.... or play. unlike my ususal days in singapore which i always had lots of things to do or at least i'll find sth to do. haha... this morning i went runnng with xiuli. actually both of us din really know the road well. juz sort of see junctions then run lo... we ran past a dairy farm, cornfields n cornfields n cornfields. arghh!!! i love to eat corn la but i dun think i wan to face cornfield s everyday. this is too much. then the road seems nv ending n i was sort of looking for a junction so we could turn n go back. in the end we ran for bt an hour b4 we returned. but it's not tiring lo... cuz we ran quite slow, we could even chat n run at same time. the weather is still v cold n it's the first time i ran while wearing long pants. the wind was blowing into my face n i tink i gonna get "tou feng". n i din perspire at all!! amazing? maybe yanfang u can check this out cuz i know u dun like to sweat. n to me, this is still better than running on treadmill. i juz cant understand how to run 30 min on a machine n only looking at urself in the mirror? not sian meh? hee...
after tt i went online to chat with my frens over at the other side of the globe.we specially set this time aside so we all can stay in our dorm to chat with our frens. cuz it's abt late nite over in singapore n i tink most of them will be online. in the ne dtt turns out to be true. cuz i was chatting in 8 diff "boxes" at one go. v stressed n trying to fig out the sequence. i think sometimes i got mix up n tyoe wrong thing. luckily all toking pretty much same stuff. haha... so sorry ppl!!! i was trying to type fast le. while chatting to frens, i was actually quite nervous. some americans are moving in today n i v scared tt my roommate will walk in anytime. i'm not mentally prepared. now i'm actually enjoying myself being alone. cuz i can anyhow throw my stuff, do watever i wan. so now actually tink single room better. but more ex... i think she moving in tml, quite worried cuz i dun know how we'll get along. sigh...chuan dao qiao tou zi ran zhi. gambate!!
today i was thinking abt this issue of having a slang. i realised tt if u dun speak with an american accent, it's actually v hard for the others to understand u. in singapore, though i dun tink my eng is fantastic, but at least i tink ppl still can understand n if i got think thru, i still can pronounce every word. but here, sometimes i speak slowly they still cant get it. this makes me feel v stupid leh... sometimes i think will i be inferior to the others juz bcuz i dun speak like americans? i'm actually quite happy with my own way of speaking n i'm proud of singlish. but u'll really feel the pressure when toking to others. esp when they kept "huh?" at wat ya say. i tink i became abit self-conscious. but i oso feel v er with myself if i try to speak with a slang.(though i tink i din really manage to do tt) ARGHH!!! sigh... headache....

""be a source of inspiration to others"

2004-08-20T17:04:00.000-05:00

i am finally back in my room. juz made a wasted trip down to reg for a closed class. the ppl there refer me to another place which is super far away and it's near their xia ban shi jian le. in the end i juz come back lo. during noon time, i've already walked for half an hour to look for the building in order to find the correct person. now i've to go back to the same place again. guess i'll haf to do on mon.
today is super cold. in the morning it was drizzling n the wind kept blowing in ur face. the rain here is v diff from singapore's. u cant really get wet here even though u dun haf an umbrella. but it's the wind tt suuper terrible. the wind is v strong n me n my frens were basically shivering as we walked along the road. we can even see the smoke when we talked or breathe... v jialat. i think i'm really not used to this type of weather cuz in Sin, it always summer. even though it's wet season, at the most 20 plus degree celsius. i reaaly admire those ppl who can still wear shorts n run in this type of weather. some of the ppl i saw on the street din even wear a jacket.i think when winter come, i will suffer like xiao. sigh..
for lunch i went to a chinese restaurant today. maybe bcuz of the cold weather, i was actually quite hungry. i ordered curry chicken n i really regret my choice. it was nth like the normal one we ate in Singapore. the colour, ingredient n taste totally diff. it tasted quite ok la.. juz tt i v disappointed. sigh... start to miss all the food back at home. actually there's not a lot of fast food here. up till now i only ate at BK once n the BK here dun even haf swiss mushroom... really diff culture...
actually i tink tt i wont really change alot. maybe i'll become even more nerdy or less vain etc. cuz it's a town mah... then not v exciting n not much shops ard. everywhere u go, u only see all the diff labs, departments colleges etc... it's v serene here actually. if u are in the mood can actually enjoy the scenery. but i guess i'm more of a city person. i like noise, crowds better. i juz trest this as a learning exp. my roommate haven move in yet. i'm actually quite scared cuz i dun know how's she's like n whether we'll be able to get along well. i heard alot of horrible story from my seniors abt their rmmate. sigh... n i tink i wont be able to make alot of frens in my hall leh. cuz i dun know how to go n talk to them. it's not as easy as i thought initially. guess i need to be brave to step out of my comfort zone. when sch starts i tink i'll be a loner le. cuz there's only 2 singaporeans in chem engin(freshmen). then i dun know the other guy well... n cuz of my time-table... v hard to meet up with others... v sad leh if haf to eat meals alone. i finally understand wat denise say tt at hm u need ur parents; outside, u'll haf to depend on frens.
now my room is still in a mess... there's alot of papers lying ard n i cant be bothered to clear them. hee... weekend coming n we are thinking of wat to do. all offices are closed. n i cant contact the other freshies leh. we haven seen the others esp those living in other halls. cuz wa to plan an outing mah...
today i ate a fortune cookie. it says: dun drift away from the path tt u are fated.(if i din remember wrongly) dun understand at all... anyway, now i'm always telling myself to jiayou. time will pass soon. take care!!!

2004-08-20T11:31:00.000-05:00

Now i'm back in the same comp lab yest. haha... but ppl, dun tink tt i still din manage to use my own laptop. i finally solve the mystery!!! i plug in the wrong hole, tt's all... haha... well... so u can chat to me le. i have chat to fang jie, xtian n louisa only... hope to cya guys more often. anyway i'm registering for classes now n i wan explode liao... the classes tat are still available all clashed with each other. now i tink i need to go n beg with the lecturer. sigh.. if he says no n i tink tt's it le. ok... i need to rush off to beg them le...
" be brave n strong!!!"

2004-08-19T15:51:00.000-05:00

Yoz ppl… I’m back again!!! Now I’m in a comp lab in Lincoln Hall, supposed to register for classes but I haven done my medical check so I’m on hold. (this means I cant register for classes yet) well… I have sort of plan my time-table and I think really v jialat… everyday packed leh… sian… then I hope all the classes I wan still available tml or else I’ll cry. Cuz I haf to replan everything again! Arghh!!! Anyway now I’m the only student in the lab and there’s only this guy ard(prof maybe?). so I juz type lo… I sort of lost my frens cuz we went for diff stuff in the morning and nv met each other until now. All of us dun haf cellphone and oso no phone in the dorm so we cant contact each other at all… sigh… Louisa, u said we cant be slave to our handphone, but I really need a phone!!!
I plan to talk abt wat happened to me from the mmt I board the plane till now. So ppl, bear with me n hope u are not bored.
I think it was a blessing in disguise tt I change my flight. Cuz I met 2 other students on the plane, one’s shen ting n the other’s Jermyn. They are under business sch, oso freshmen like me. I guess it was v lucky tt we had company cuz it sort of makes me feel better when we haf to walk ard the airport, looking for the correct gate to board the plane etc. Ppl, now then I know how gd SIA is. My plane dun have personal entertainment system, everyone shared a common screen n if u suay suay sit at the back then it’s too bad for ya. Sigh… I din really watch the shows cuz I dun even know wat they are showing. Movies, documentaries, variety shows? Luckily I brought a book along so I can occupy myself. From Sin to toyko, I was sleeping most of the time cuz really too tired. I guess those who came to the airport were also v tired. Thank for coming to send me off. Really v grateful!!! The toyko airport was v common n plain. I can tell u Changi airport is really much much better. There wasn’t a lot of shops n the toilet cubicles are really small. From Tokyo to Detroit, I sat beside this Jap mother who brought along her 11 mths son. Hee… I was quite excited when I knew I was sitting beside the baby. He’s really cute with the big eyes n he’ll smile when u play with him. I think if it’s lihui, she’ll feel super xin fu. Hee… the flight from toyko to Detroit took 11h. I tried to sleep but cant re3ally sleep well cuz the baby was crying n screaming during most of the flight. Arghh…. I v stressed leh. The flight attendant kept asking if the baby’s ok, whether need to take him to walk ard… blah n blah… my conclusion: mothers are wei da de; I dun wan to haf baby n nv sit beside an infant. Sigh…
I was quite lucky to get the window seat. but after staring at the sky for too long, u’ll realize there’s really nth special abt it. At nite u cant even see anything. Throughout the whole flight, I lost orientation of time and whether it’s day or night. Cuz when we flew across the pacific ocean (I not sure wat ocean la) the time is gg backwards. The air crew kept feeding us every few hours and I dun even know whether I’m eating breakfast or dinner. Hee… n now I really hate the food on plane. Ppl who knows me shld noe I’m v fussy abt food… hee….at Detroit, I’m supposed to change flight to Champaign. I got a shock when I saw the plane. The plane is super small, can only accommodate 30 plus ppl n there’s only 1 air stewardess who bao ka liao. I felt so scared when the plane took off cuz it really look v unsafe n it kept shaking during the flight. Now the bad thing is I haf bought the return ticket so I haf to take the same flight home. Sigh…. The Champaign airport is called CMI. This airport is really v small… maybe the size of a bus interchange. There’s only five trolleys! So me n my poor frens haf to drag our super heavy luggage with us. Really v tong ku.
We lived at the temp housing call FAR. When I stepped into the room, I really think tt PY n Yili should be v happy abt their own hostel. the dorm here is even smaller than those at hall 5. they dun even provide cupboards n the beds are the double bunk ones. The wardrobe looks like a store room to me n it’s super small. The first nite I share the room with shen ting n I can tell u it’s really freezing over here at nite. I cant even sleep. Anyway the three of us went for a mini excursion after we checked in at FAR. It’s v quiet here, with no shops, shopping centers etc… over here, this is considered as a campus town. This means tt the town is a campus and the campus is a town! (sorry, I know I v crappy) most of the buildings here are v Victorian style…. Those type which look v magnificent with the v high doorway, brass gates etc. to me the buildings all look the same n I cant differentiate one from another. There’s a lot of trees and fields ard. U can even see squirrels everywhere. The only street tt seems to be more crowded is green street. It’s the place where u can find restaurants n some shops n banks. We went to BK for dinner n I think I really super malu over there. The cashier cannot understand wat I’m saying at all. I was only trying to order a whooper junior. Weep!!!
The second day for us was really super super busy. Basically we rushed here and there n we dun even haf time for meals. We need to move out of temp housing by noon. Luckily I got my housing le. Hee… I’m staying with an American n I haven met her yet. Quite scared though… cuz I dun know how to get along with them. N now I can say tt I still haven step out of my comfort zone. Most of the time, I sticking with Singaporeans.
There’s a lot of stuff tt we had to do like getting registered, do our I-card, mediaval screening etc… I guess we v suay cuz the system was down in the afternoon so we cant do a lot of things. N we wasted a lot of energy but walking here n there. Luckily we got seniors there to give us advice on wat to do, how to do it. Or else we’ll be super lost.
At night, we had a shooping trip at this big big super markt called Meijers. We are supposed to get all our essential over there. Before we set off, we went to haf dinner at this pasta restaurant. It’s quite unique cuz it’s all self-service. U write ur own order and pass to the cashier. U haf to collect it from the kitchen urself too. The serving here really v big leh…one pasta plate is abt the size of a regular pizza. N ppl here normally eat one regular pizza each. I think I v wasteful cuz I threw away a lot. Think maybe jetlag or too tired le… I was quite sick. So I cant eat and felt like vomiting.
During the bus trip to meijers, I think there’s a few times I almost threw up. Luckily I ren zhu. Hee…. At the super market is still ok. But when we took the bus back again, I really buay tahan. I ran to the rubbish bin immediately when I alight the bus. In the end the rest took a bus back to the dorm n zhen si walked me back to my dorm. Up till now I still dun feel v well… they say it’s v jialat if I fall sick here. Dun worry I haf been trying to drink more water liao… I think after a while when I get use to the weather here… I’ll be the strong n fit Bao bao le. Haha….
Anyway back to the shopping trip, I think we (the gals) really v kiasu. We bought a lot of things! We kept walking ard grabbing stuff and we juz abamdoned the trolleys with guys. Then they haf to stand there to wait or they haf to push the trolleys ard for us. Hee…. Everything seems v impt n muz haf so we juz take lo… in the end the guys all v poor thing cuz they haf to help us to carry.
Today I managed to settle most of stuff le, except the medical check cuz they dun haf screening today. Sigh… tml will haf to rush there in the morning. Now I cant contact my frens n I oso dun know where to look for them. N I still dun know how to connect my laptop to internet. Sigh…. Nvm. I’ll try later.
Ppl, actually there are much more things I wanna share with u like the ppl I met here, the frens I met n any other interesting stuff. But I guess I’ll write it down next time cuz I v paiseh to stay in the lab for so long. Tt’s all for now. Once I can use internet, I’ll upload my photo n chat to everyone. Take care….!!!

2004-08-19T09:44:00.000-05:00

Yoz ppl, i have reached USA!! well i'm writing on my blog first so ppl who wans to know wat's happening can read abt it first. i'll send an email to evryone shortly once i have internet access at my dorm. sigh... like wat xtian had said, i really dun know how to set up internet connection in my dorm n i think i'll haf to seek help. haha... now i'm sitting inside Chem department waiting for my turn to see the academic advisor so i go n use the comp. tt means i'll haf to stop writing anytime. the past one and half day is super busy for me. we all had so much things to do n all of us will be rushing ard the whole day. cuz we dun haf the bus guide thus we haf to use our "bus 11". walk until i super sian. sometimes when i'm late for appt, i'll haf to run. arghh... the whole campus is so big and as a "road idiot" i kept stopping to look at maps, getting lost n trying to identify the buildings. to me the building all look the same, v victorian style. i'll post the photos up soon. (i'll post this entry 1st in case i haf to stop)

2004-08-14T13:24:00.000-05:00

Sat was one of my most happening n happy day. Though now I aching all over n super stressed over leaving Singapore. Hee… in the morning, I finally accomplished my aim of learning. After so many failed attempts to meet up, on yest, me, Louisa, jas n Taurus finally went to east coast!!!actually I wan pangsay them cuz I really v tired. I slept at 2am the previous nite. But I felt v paiseh cuz Louisa was v nice to teach me blading n I know I’ll regret if I dun learn now. So I dragged myself out of bed n went to meet them. I was a bit angry initially bcuz everyone else was late. As usual. But I told myself… cant let this spoil my day! I muz be more easy-gg… jiayou! When we reached blading shop n put on the blade, I immediately regret le. I was thinking wat shit I got myself into? I kept falling backwards n I cant control my legs at all. Felt like I was an idiot. It’s exactly the same situation when I was kayaking at tioman. Everyone was enjoying n I looked like I was being tortured. But as a typical LEO, I v si yao mian zi so I die die also muz continue… I kept falling until I oso sian. Then so many stupid humps lo… I think all those cyclists ard me v stressed cuz they v scared I knocked into them. Even little kids can blade faster than me. Arghh!!! Now my whole butt hurts like xiao… sitting become a v painful n tong ku job for me… my whole calf oso blue-black le cuz of the blades. I learnt for two hours but I still I cant blade. But I quite happy tt at least I can pass humps, balance n blade a v short distance without falling like an idiot. One big prob is I dun haf the confidence n I cant get the momentum. I think I’ll forget all the stuff they taught me by the time I blade again. My frens v poor thing lo… I almost caused jas n Louisa to fall with me. Luckily Taurus was there, served as my “handrail”. Hee… anyway I made a resolution: I muz really teach my child to blade in the future so he wont suffer like me! Btw still muz thank everyone who taught me n even those passerbys who tried to give me some advice when they saw me falling…
I met up with my good buddies from sec sch after tt, xtian, yili n py. Py as usual was always late.. so I oso late lo. Haha… so sorry to xtian n yili cuz they waited for us. We met at katong n I think we ate a lot lo. We tried bao, laksa, popiah, pineapple tarts etc… all are nice! Singapore food is wonderful!! I think I’ll miss them like xiao. We went to KSC to sing karaoke. We found this cheap one la n the songs not bad. We thought we’ll juz stay for 2h cuz we all sth on after tt. Who noes we still till almost 4h! (xtian left early) the 4 of us really ki xiao! We all v high lo… stand up n sang v loud, took a lot of photos. It’s v shiok! It’s been a long time tt the 4 of us met up n such fun…halfway thru it, I was quite sad cuz I remember I’m leaving soon. *sobz* I really v glad to meet this bunch of gd frens lo…
I’m supposed to meet my students 28/04 for dinner at marina bay at 7pm, but referring to my above para… I got carried away at karaoke so I’m super late. So sorry ppl!!! luckily they oso late so by the time I reached, they’ve juz started. Haha… so din miss much. They were really v sweet lo. Joan, Amanda n Mingxiu who din make it got call or msg me to say take care… n they got think of the idea to tawn at airport. V touched! But ppl, it’s really not advisable. Too early n u all still haf sch. But it’s the thought tat counts. Thank you so much. I think I kept eating n I felt like bursting now. Cuz I ate a lot of cooked food. Haha… make my $ worth. Anyway I may go back on mon, provided I can finished packing.
Now I already v stressed le cuz I really think I no time le. The seniors sent a lot of emails with a lot of info n I think I super blur. So now I’m gg to stay up whole nite to plan everything. Headache. Stressed until cant sleep. I think my frens who read this will kill me lo. Cuz they actually told m to pack my stuff for many times le. Well… ppl, I starting now. Hee…

“don’t be late n don’t procrastinate”

2004-08-13T13:10:00.000-05:00

13th Aug was a SUPER suay day for me, I think I shld just stay at home n do nth. First thing in the morning, the travel agency guy called n told me he managed to get a cheaper flight. I dun wanna change la since I haf already made all arrangements n my frens are all v nice to come n send me. Then this guy comes n disrupt my plan. From the company’s pt of view, of course the cheaper the better. So I have no choice but to sacrifice n let them save money la. N now I’m flying one hour plus earlier. So my frens haf to wake up super early lo… dun even haf train lo… all muz take cab. I felt so dui bu qi everyone. Ppl, if it’s really inconvenient no need to come la… I appreciate ur thought. I was discussing with lynn abt this. She said tt guy was nv so enthu abt getting tiz b4… their service really bad lo. But this time cuz the boss got involved so he super hardworking. Der…anyway I think I’m not the worst case le… in hippocampus my seniors suffered even more. Fendy din even get his air tix until the day before his departure. Sigh… we muz change agency le… cant stand it leh.
I had two outings on fri nite. No choice la but I muz go for both… cuz I finished my stuff v early n I was loitering ard bedok area. I was thinking of gg home but not worth the time. then I took a bus to tanah merah for the bbq 1st. I realized there’s no one there. I went to the condo n nobody’s there. Everyone’s late lo… so I thought nvm, I go to my board outing then. Who knows they changesd the timing to a later time n I ‘m already back at bedok. In the end I got so fed up n I decided to go home. So u see I wasted two hours outside when I shld haf gone hm. I wan to hua nu qi wei shi liang so I ate my chocolate icecream. I thought at hm I shld be safe from any unlucky stuff. Who knows I dripped my choc icecream on my white shirt! I know it’s a v small matter but when I v frustrated, any thing can irritate me. I juz kept complaining to my mum. Surprising the worst tempered mum came to calm me down. Ske kept telling me not to fa pi qi later, cant scold my frens blah n blah… so by the time I left the house, I sort of calm down le…
The BBQ’s turnout quite bad leh. A bit disappointed cuz it’s supposed to be our farewell. It doesn’t seemed like a farewell but I appreciate everyone’s effort in arranging everything n buying all the stuff. Thank so much! The food’s gd, I luv sausages! Hee… then I rushed down to bedok to meet lihui. I’m so shocked to hear lihui say tt there’s only 5 ppl n out of 5 ppl, there’re 2 couples so she felt like v weird. I thought it’s supposed to be gals nite out. Nvm la… I can understand the others had sth on or v tired from their camp. Rest well leh ppl. Louisa brought the durian here. Quite diff from wat I expect, I thought it’s the v tanned n sporty type. Well, nvm.. it doesn’t matter to me. Muz ask Louisa wat she thinks mah… I think I left a pretty bad impression of me on durian cuz I was v noisy n tomboyish… unlike Louisa, jas n lihui type… think he muz be pretty surprised tt Louisa haf a fren like me. Paiseh…
After this I went back to the BBQ again. I v tired cuz kept traveling back n forth. Most of them had left, quite sad… nevertheless… the seniors quite nice so we juz chat n chat until we lost track of time… actually I din really talk a lot except to suan Kelvin. Then they sort of bluff me tt waihsing is married. Up till now I still v blur abt whether he’s married abt. Felt like an idiot… sigh… anyway… guess this will be the last time I see them b4 I flew away. Take care ppl…

“take time to think n to giv thank”

2004-08-12T11:58:00.000-05:00

I was supposed to e at SCI at abt 8.30am but bcuz I slept late yest nite so I overslept... I woke up at ard 8. so rushed all the way down, luckily the others not ready yet. Hee… I’m supposed to retake my part again. I dun think I’m a person that has stage fright, however I muz say it’s totally different facing a BIG video n with three professionals standing ard u, listening n watching every move u make. Stressed leh!!! I had quite a few NGs so paiseh… the other guys all v gd. It’s a pity tat I cant attend this forum. I guess I’m not fated cuz this yr I’ve already missed two functions le. Sigh…
After tt, I went to NUS with Hang Boon. He was supposed to do urshering for a recital. Quite interesting n u get paid n watched a free show as well. V worth it leh. I went into the office n after a while, there’s this “xiong shen er sha” woman who came in n kept string at me as though I’m some filthy pest. Arghh!!! Buay tahan so I ran away. I tried to fig out a way to get to the bookstore but I guessed I still cmi cuz I juz took the bus all the way until I got chased off at the terminal. Cant fig out where is it. Sigh… btw I passed by PGP n I think it looked awesome! It’s like a condo, v high class… I know I v sua gu. Paiseh…
I watched “the village” le. I think I v lousy cuz I already knew the whole story n yet I’m still afraid. My fren kept telling me to relax cuz I think I looked v stressed. The movie turns out to be v “classy”, not the Hollywood type n definitely not horror. I cant say I enjoy it completely but I appreciate the fact that the director took care of the small details.
Last night was my mini sec sch gathering. It’s really MINI cuz only 5 ppl. quite pathetic I know. I’m so happy tt Kaiyun turned up. I din expect her to come n I thought I wont be seeing her until next yr. it’s such a pleasant surprise. She’s still the same… cheerful, cute. A pity tt we seldom keep in contact le. BK muz haf felt left out bah cuz he was v quiet during our conversation. Basically it’s juz the 4 gals talking. I’m so gald to meet them n really v touched by the fact that some of my frens are trying to cum n send me. Thank all of ya so much! They were all nagging at me to pack my bag. I know I muz do it soon but I v lazy n really dun know where to start. Stressed n super blur. My mum seemed quite relax though… she only v worried abt me. I know tt I always quarrel with my mum but at this mmt, I suddenly felt bonded to her. Cuz I knew she’s really concerned abt me.
Leaving in a few days time n I felt like time really flies past. It seems like my time juz disappear like tt. I still haf a lot of things tt I haven tried in Singapore… I cant bear to leave my family, frens leh. I know I’m only gone for a few years whereas I have stayed in Singapore for almost 20 yrs. Should look forward to future. My mum said tt I muz not cry, even if I miss home. Muz be strong. I think my mum super lihai cuz she can already predict I’ll cry over there. I think so too… haha…

“be true to yourself”

2004-08-11T11:36:00.000-05:00

I reached home at ard midnight n my mum n sis were still awake. I’m pretty surprised cuz normally by this time, my mum shld be dozing off le. Instead she’s super awake, totally focused on the TV. It suddenly dawned on me. My mum was watching the channel 8 concert n waiting for 5566’s performance! Arghh!!! Can u believe it? I know my mum is a big fan of 5566 but I thought it’s only for a short while… who knows… der!
Today I went to Johnny’s social nite with him. I was sort of like his “backup date”, n he said it’s less embarrassing to ask me. Well… mybe bcuz I always behave like a guy. Initially he said it’s a casual fn n I may even wear jeans. Jas also told me tt Taurus’s one was pretty casual. Luckily last min I decided to wear a skirt or else I definitely malu like xiao. A lot of gals turned up in gowns, dresses n heels. I was quite shocked. Thank god tt I wore a skirt or else I’ll feel even more out of place. Johnny was quite nice, trying to be a gd date. However I still felt quite awkward cuz din really know the other ppl. The others all seemed to come from the same sch. The only familiar face I saw was weixiong.
It’s a buffet dinner, not tt bad la… except their dessert was quite disappointing. No cakes, chocolates, icecream etc… for those who know me, they shld noe I LOVE dessert. The quality of the food was gd but my judgment tells me tt out of the $50 they pay, only $20 is for food, the other $30 is for the venue itself. Ex leh… but the hotel really posh (or else the gals wont wear gown liao) n the service is excellent. Overall it’s still an exp, at least haf free food mah. Haha…
“nth wastes more energy than worrying”

2004-08-10T10:55:00.000-05:00

Today I had lunch with cg 35/04. haven seen them for along time n I muz say I’m v touched they still wanna meet me even after I’ve stopped teaching them. Muz thank Qingyun for helping to org. I think she muz haf sent countless sms. Hee… in the end I made the decision. We went to magic wok! It’s one of my fav place to eat cuz I think it’s cheap n the food is nice. My fav is fried kway tiao, even chun wei agreed that it’s nice! This place oso haf a lot of my memories here. Many of my sec 2 gatherings were held there. We had so much fun… it’s abit sad tat I’ve lost touch with my sec 2 mates. Dun know y, but I always haf probs keeping in contact wif my frens. Guess it’s my prob. This time I muz really try hard to keep my frenship. Chun wei said tat I was v lucky to meet my board. Tat’s v true! They’re one of my best frens… n we had so much fun toget. Though there were quarrels, tears… we haf nv left each other. Without them my JC life will definitely be less fulfilling.
Coming back to CG 35/04, the guys still the same lo.. I din really tok a lot to them. It’s a pity. Darren still as cute, Frankie still as ai mei n NCC still the same black face. Hee… Cun Wei joined us for lunch cuz he’s too free at hm. He said my class v sweet cuz they even said they wan send me off. But I guessed it’s v hard for them to come cuz they got sch n it’s so early in the morning. However I’m still v happy le cuz it’ the thought that counts. Dun know when will meet them again.
"love n u shall be loved"

2004-08-09T11:11:00.000-05:00

this morning i went to climb Bukit Timah hill with Fang jie, Jess n Nixon. for the gals, i think the main aim is juz to exercise n lose weight... hee... some super paiseh thing happened even b4 we went to the hill. it was v suay for me. in the toilet at mrt station, i guess i was too violent. i tore my shorts! the whole zip came off! arghh!!! so embarrassing... luckily i brought a backpack so i carried my bag in front of me to cover the hole lo. for the whole trip up the hill n i even tahan until we had lunch. power bah... cuz i oso dun know where to get shorts mah... n i dun wan others to disrupt their plans bcuz of me. cant forget this. this tells me i cant wear tight fit shorts n i really must lose weight le. we only started for abt 5 min n i think fang jie really regret coming with me le. cuz the initial part of the slope is v steep, by the time we finished climbing this slope all of us were sweating like mad le. actually i juz went there last wk so sum of my frens think i v boliao to go back again. there's a lot of v high steps n we had to take a detour cuz there's a beehive. though quite tiring... everyone agreed it felt gd sfter a workout! yea!!!

2004-08-07T22:04:00.001-05:00

Yest was a very eventful day for me. I went to meet Xtian n BK to cycle. Really haven seen BK for a super long time. i think BK din change lo… still as hao hao xian sheng. Well… actually it’s good tat we dun change, who knows u may change for the better or worse? I think my board thinks tt I change a lot, esp lihui n cuihua cuz they know me since sec sch. I only change in terms of physical appearance, character wise, shld be the same bah. My close frens like xtian, py, bk dun think I change lo… cuz I still as a mugger aka nerd. Hee…
At night, my board met for dinner at Noble House. I felt so paiseh n dui bu qi da jia cuz everyone spent so much. Really must thank everyone. They are all v sweet cuz they prep dis vcd for me. N I must give lihui a super big hug cuz she knitted this scarf for me n it’s super nice! She must have took a super long time to do it. Thank Gal! when they play the vcd, I cried out immediately lo. Cuz I was super touched. They were all back at TJ wearing our LEO Tee!!! Can u believe it? It’s been a very long time tat the whole BOD come toget n seeing them wearing our LEO tee brings back so much memories. Even when I’m typing this now, I also feel like crying le. They have put in so much effort n I know tat they’re v busy esp schs have started n everyone’s schedule v pack. LEO Club makes up most of JC life n 21st BOD is one of the best groups of frens I’ve made. I love u all!
Ms Wong also came for the dinner n we had such a hard time trying to get her to accept the $. She kept insisting tat she pay her share. Irene v cute lo, she tried to tou tou put the $ inside Ms Wong’s handbag. Qiyuan became bolder le. Now he dare to say Ms Wong is stubborn n he even blocked her way out. This dragged on for 15 min>? or even longer I think. At the lobby, she tried to run away. Eventually it’s Nixon who chased after Ms Wong n threw back the $ into Ms Wong’s car. Hee… one point to note: though Ms Wong says she doesn’t like Qiyuan, during the dinner she kept “feeding” him lo. His plate was never empty, forever filled with food lo. Haha… overall I think we had a pretty gd dinner (the dessert isn’t v nice I think), considering everyone is very full n stuffed. Really ate our worth. Like wat fang jie said, “it’s all in the mind>”
After that we went to tawn at Irene’s hse. It’s like in the past when we always go there, talk rubbish, watch movies n even bake cookies n cinnamon rolls. Hao huai nian… we did pretty stupid stuff yest. We held a mini-meeting to vote for “who’ll get married first”, “have the first child”, “most likely to cohabite” etc… v lame rite? Then we just discussed why we chose certain ppl, our “great predictions”. Basically I think they had helped lihui to plan her whole future n family life le. Said she’ll get married, be housewife, when she’ll have children etc. though I felt tat she won’t really get married so soon leh... I felt tat recently we always talk abt BGR. Dun know why leh? Maybe it’s bcuz uni started n the gals get to meet more guys? Anyway I’m xin ru zhi shui. (this is my fav phrase recently) hee…
Now I am just concerned abt leaving for my studies. Cant bear to leave my family n frens n I’m really v worried abt how I can pass tt 4 yrs. My BOD seems to haf a lot of confidence in me but I really v lost. I can foresee tat my first few months there will be v depressing n lonely… v pessimistic bah? I think better expect the worse n hope for the best. This way I wont get too disappointed. Take things as it comes. Life is always full of hope!
Lastly I just wan to tell all my frens again: ppl, I’ll really miss all of u n thank for all the help, fond memories n time u haf spent with me. U are all part of my life n I wont forget u. take care n luv ya!!!

2004-08-07T22:04:00.000-05:00

2004-08-06T12:12:00.000-05:00

Now I super luan cuz trying to upload photos, chatting n typing blog at the same time. V hard to multi-task n v stressed!!! Hee… this morning is the last day of the symposium. Halfway through the first talk, Lynn suddenly msg me to tell me to go down to us embassy to apply visa. It’s 10.30am when she msg n the embassy closed at 11am. I din bring anything lo… so she had to print a new set of the docu. I was rushing all the way n it seems like I super suay cuz almost every traffic light I pass by is red. I almost wan to scream man. Luckily the taxi uncle help me chiong all the way n I reached there abt 10 min b4 11am. Then as u know us embassy has v strict security n they check everything. Then I super gan cheong, ran all the way to the appli office. The whole interview process is VERY fast. I finish in ten min. luckily I made it in time so now is just wait lo… n I took a cab back to the symposium. I came back within 45 min n the talk still haven end. It seems like the q n a drags on forever.

The closing speech by Mr Ho of the Banyan Tree Company was v interesting, inspiring n really triggers me to think. It made me have a new concept abt volunteerism, this world n my ideals. He emphasized a lot on traveling n learning and experiencing. Singaporeans are really too sheltered n we always just compared other countries or things to Singapore. This should not be the way. We need to be a bit more appreciative of the world. It does not mean that anything that is poorer or less developed than Singapore is pathetic, they have their own strengths n they may be v contended n happy. When we do volunteer work, it does not mean that we are helping those less fortunate. They may be the ones that are teaching us impt lessons in life. We are actually gaining more by giving. I have my own dreams but I’m really uncertain whether I’m willing to put these at first priority. Too many issues are involved esp in this pragmatic world. It seems like the cruel reality of the world will be shown as soon as we start work. Sigh….

In the afternn, I went xtian’s hse to down load some prog. Then I realize broadband really v fast. It took ½ min to download msn while dial-up take 1h. arghh… then I look at xtian choosing course then I oso v stressed cuz I haven settle my own time table n haven bought my bks. Sigh… initially thought a lot of time to prep, now seems no time. Arghh…

At nite we had a santa n elves gathering. Really haven met everyone for a long time le. They were all talking abt their uni life. Abit envious. Well… the food is gd. All local foodfare, guess I must really eat all these b4 I leave. Think it may be the last time I see them b4 I leave.

“what difference can we make to make the world a better place? Can you make your dreams come true?”

2004-08-05T10:14:00.000-05:00

i'm watching 'spirited away" while typing this entry. after much struggle, i finally can use my laptop to surf the net le. sigh... i know i v jialat at computer stuff, esp my comp engin frens think tat i'm like an idiot. hee... n now i'm still trying to find out how to link my blog to my frens' blog. ppl... help!!! ha ha....
today i went to the sif student synposium. it's basically a series of talks regarding asia. initially i thought it's gg to be super sian, so i drank coffee to keep myself awake. it actually turns out to be quite ok. the speakers are v informative n they really prompts us to tink. at least that's what i feel. the students there super enthu lo... the q n a sessions just drag on n on, unlike tj. hee... my fav part is actually the last discussion sessions where the students are split into smaller groups to listen to diff presentations which we have chosen. i listened to a talk regarding human rights in asia. it's a v sensitive issue as it's always v diff to define human rights. how we can balance individual benefits with community's? what about the government systems? can we achieve full democracy n is democracy really relevant in asia? see? alot of questions bah? there's still another half day session tml...
i'm a glutton so of course i must mention abt the food. the food is quite gd, they provide tea after evey talk n it's delicious!!! our lunch is a full western set with salad, main course n dessert. the dessert is tiramisu n if u're my fren u shld know i love dessert!!! hao bang ya!!@!
i haven written blog for a long time cuz the internet prob. dun worry, once i've time i'll update u all. now have to conc on my show... take care

"when u gain some, u'll lose some; when u lose some, u'll gain some. so dun take things too hard, enjoy!"

2004-07-30T19:31:00.000-05:00

horray!!! i finally receive my acceptance letter... finally can do my visa applic n all the rest of the paperwork. well... it's not tt i can wait to leave here. it's just tt i super worried i cant settle all the stuff by the time i fly off... then i will be stuck no where lo...
on thurs i went to a salon with PY. initially just wan to cut my hair... but under PY's "encouragement" i decided to colour as well. the hairdresser was so fierce... watever i say rite, she'll rebutt me lo. felt so intimidated. she asked me to rebond my hair! oh my god, i tink i'll look so horrible, maybe like a mop on my head. so i just told her i dun wan n she start lecturing me about how messy my hair is, if dun rebond i can tahan meh, blah n blah... then later she just told me she's gg to gif me a hair treatment. take note.. she TOLD me, not ASK me. n it cost a hundred plus! bei pian le.
*sobz* even when she cut my hair... i have to listen to her... PY's hair is much longer than mine n yet she finished b4 me. i stayed for 3 plus hours sit until my butt became numb liao. n i tink i chose the wrong colour. look like a big ah lian so my hair is v bright la... a bit blondish... felt so self-conscious n paiseh when i go out. sigh... anyway this hair is gg to last me 9 mths... n i will never ever go back there again!!!
yest was my deed signing. i already sold away 10 yrs of my life... felt so uncertain... n i dun feel excited at all gg overseas. now i'm just counting down the days till i fly off n i still haf lots of stuff to prepare. headache. at least i got my laptop. it weighs like an elephant!!! though maybe slightly better than my seniors one... theirs really horrible. other than the weight, it seems quite ok, at least it's a free one n they installed everything for me le. i'm a computer idiot. luckily my senior is a computer engin student so he was teaching me like he's teaching a kindergarten kid. hee... but really must thank him or else i sure v jialat. up till now i still haven explore my laptop. quite sian le...
well... since i stopped work, i think my week was still quite eventful... today i'm gg to watch NDP preview!!! Lihui got the tix from Bingde... so happy cuz i've been wanting to go esp i'll be leaving this year hee... but because of us our board dinner has to be cancelled. but anyway it's supposed to be my birthday treat. n it's ok for me. hee..

smilez (",

2004-07-26T08:41:00.000-05:00

today i went to watch brotherhood with Xtian n Lihui... after many msgs... we finally decided to go PS to watch. after watching the movie i've fallen in love with Zhang Dong Jian!!! he's so zai n say plus super shuai. hee...
it's a very touching movie, me n lihui cried until the whole packet of tisue is almost used up. i tink lihui more kua zhang cuz she really cry FROM the start to the end. i only cry AT the start n end.i felt so sad that i almost want to stop watching halfway. Zhang Dong Jian is really v nice though halfway thru the show i almost want to kill him. won bin is a wimpy @ the start of the sho. me n lihui felt so peicek with him... but later prt he became a MAN. hee..
i was throughly heartbroken when i watched the ending. me n lihui were expecting a happy ending or @ least a touching one. who expects it to be so shocking(@ least for me it's like that). i cry until i cant stop. only Xtian din cry lo... n she was half-expecting sad ending. she felt v indignant about y won bin left his bro there. sigh... *sobz*
though overall it's a v touching film, it's still quite gruesome wif all the blood n war scenes. half of the time i was covering my eyes with my hands.
so for those who wanna watch this movie.. prepare a lot of tissue n dun eat too much b4 the movie... incase u vomit. hee...
after that we went shopping n @ tiong Bahru, there's this shop that sells alot of nice shoes. all of us wanted to buy initially but in the end we din buy at all... cuz dun haf the size, colour etc... i feel like buying but i've already spent so much.. arghh... tink i have changed into a shopaholic... that's not a gd sign.
ppl.. tht's my day..
turn ur face to the sun n the shadow falls behind...

2004-07-24T21:50:00.000-05:00

Today is my first day since I have ended my attachment… felt so free n relaxed. Hee… though my mum wanted me to continue la cuz she say can earn some money to save up. Yest was my last day n yet it's the busiest dy of my whole attachment cuz I'm supposed to finish everything n hand over. Then I kept rushing n rushing then the comp is SO SLOW. Luckily sarah n kelly helped me a lot n they din really mind that I din settle everything nicely. When time's up, sarah even helped me to hitch a ride back. Hee…
Yest was a super free day for me cuz I din go out. So juz stayed at hm n watch vcd… surf net…. V slack rite? I tink I'm not tt type tt can do nth for long time. So I've been looking for frens to go out or trying to learn sth new.
This morning I just clear my cupboard n desk cuz my parents kept complaining. But the prob is every time I clear it… a few days later it'll be a mess again. Some stuff are juz out of control. Hee…
Well…. I have this big surprise, esp for those from DHS. The story's like this… in sec 2 n 3, I've this senior which I'm quite close to la… she always helped me n taught me a lot of things. Then when she moved on to JC, we sort of lost contact with each other. I juz heard she got a scholarship n cant even contact her le. Then one day I was reading thru the SSA freshmen guidebk n I saw her name in it. Initially I was juz suspecting so I email her, msg the pres n ask. Then …. It's her! Such a coincidence! Hee… so for those who knows her… hey ppl, I've found her.
Ok.. tt's all for now. Stay happy n smilez always

2004-07-20T09:33:00.000-05:00

it's been a SUPER LONG time since i wrote in this blog cuz i too lazy la... hee... well in these 2 mths plus i have changed from a relief tutor to an attachment gal in shipyard.

i actually miss being a teacher, cuz it's really v heart-warming to see ur students show appreciation for wat u haf done. n all my students are wonderful! though they are bound to be slackers, those v noisy ones, always sleeping ones n those v muggers ones... they all add colours n so much fun to my life. i'll miss them lots. however.... i dun think i'll becum a perm teacher cuz too stressed la... n i think i really like a ah beng... how to discipline students... so muz be contented with my job in shipyard.

then now i'm doing attachment with my parent company. initially really v sian cuz i really haf nth to do! n i felt so paiseh sitting there all day slacking. at that time really regret my choice of volunteering to do attachment. now i change to another department le n i'm supposed to do this brochure. it's almost completed but suay suay today my com had a super big prob n my file all disapear! weep!!! i spent a wk to do tat leh.. looking up all the file, sorting all the photos n info... now has to restart again. sigh... no choice lo... just do super fast lo... muz learn from mistake.

remember: LIFE IS ALWAYS FULL OF HOPE!!

2004-05-02T21:28:00.000-05:00

arghh... i have been surfing the net for a SUPER LONG time trying to find the best blogskin. so fan... sigh... actually i still tinking wat i shld write her n what i shld write in my own diary. guess this blog may be abandoned by me after a few weeks. or maybe when i go overseas i too lonely then i may write again. hee...

2004-05-02T20:42:00.000-05:00

today i decided to have a new blog cuz my old one has alot of prob. sigh... then i do until super sian so.... i'm new so v blur abt all the fns. luckily got lian ya to help or else.... hee... i noe i v glgw (learnt from denise one) anyway... just do one for fun lo.